How dare Donna Karan show us her filthy cleavage, and next to Demi no less.  In all fairness the hag is 58-years-old. Not Demi Moore though, she’ll never age.  I bet her cooch smells of lavender.

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After a year of dating ‘Laguna Beach’ douchebag Stephen Colletti, Hayden Panettiere is on her own again.  Of course she’s not with him anymore!  Now that she’s a big star she needs to move onto bigger and better men.  Hey, why settle for a dildo when you can have a vibrator?

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I know some of you would say otherwise, but Jessica Alba looked pretty freaking adorable at the 32nd Annual Toronto International Film Festival InStyle/HFPA party at the Windsor Arms Hotel in Toronto yesterday. She looked like the kind of girl who could throw back a couple beers, kick your ass at pool, and then blow you on the drive home.

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Skanks Jenna Jameson and Kim Kardashian walked the runway at the Heatherette Spring 2008 Fashion Show in New York City yesterday. Jenna even flashed her saggy ass at the crowd. Scarecrows look better than these two!

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Spies are reporting lip locking between ‘Entourage’ star Adrian Grenier and the flesh eating virus that is Paris Hilton.

“Adrian is resistant because this is Paris Hilton,” says a spy. “She’s way more into him and was all over him. But he’s being good and hasn’t slept with her. They did make out, and Adrian felt that was too much.”

His girlfriend is a Sports Illustrated model for God’s sake, why would he want Paris? His manhood is going to disintegrate as soon as it hits her tongue from all her diseases. Until I see the sex tape I’m not buying it.

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No one can convince me that Anna Kournikova, photographed above in Miami Beach, is actually attractive. If it wasn’t for her (normally) beautiful hair she would just be another average blonde. And it has nothing to do with weight, but her body just isn’t hot. Look at her. *Shudders* Nothing about that could make me wet.

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This is such a lame story. After bodyguards blocked part of Ashlee Simpson’s crew trying to leave the Decaydance/GQ party Sunday night a “brawl” resulted, whereby the bouncer pushed Pete Wentz, accidentally knocking Ashlee into a wall. That’s when Papa Joe and Pete started swinging.

“When somebody messes with my baby, then it’s over!” Joe told us later, drawing his finger across his throat.

How “Dirty Dancing” of Papa Joe.  This is probably the most exciting thing to ever happen to Ashlee, considering she’s still a virgin and all.  Hell, Pete’s vagina is too gaping to be considered a heterosexual man.

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After seeing Britney Spears crash and burn, Jessica Simpson rethought her career option and decided her next album should be a country album. Father Joe told People Magazine in Vegas:

“Everything in our business is about beats and I think she really wants to sing,” he said, “and country music still believes in that.”

Actually, this is probably the smartest decision she’s made in a while. Them hillbilly folks will eat this crap up.  Hopefully she’ll get the Dolly Parton boobs too.

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One of the UK’s finest specimens, Danielle Lloyd photographed at The Variety Club in London today. As average looking as she may come off, you look at her and what’s there not to like? A blonde beauty with just the right amount of meat on her bones.  Even granny panties look good on her.

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