Reese Witherspoon Lights Up The Red Carpet

Reese Witherspoon is not the first actress I think of when I am trying to get off.  However, this bitch knows how to pull it together and look glamorous when she has to attend a red carpet event.  Plus, I appreciate the fact that she wears Avon makeup and more affordable products like the Banana Republic shoes she has on.  It’s nice to know that fashion does not necessarily mean I have to get deeper in debt.

Well, there’s that and the fact that I know she’s one of those girls that looks totally nice.  Then you get them in the bedroom and they demand you punch and fuck them.  Nice looking girls always want the kinky shit and cause of that Reese Witherspoon, I salute you.

More red hot, red carpet photos after the jump…

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The Media Will Make a Story Out of Anything

Check out this nonesense:

Hollywood psychic Kenny Kingston has claimed that Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal were destined to fall in love.

The clairvoyant said that spiritual guides had told him about the couple’s past lives, when they were apparently a couple in World War One.

“He was a doctor, she was a nurse,” said Kingston. “They worked closely together and were also romantically involved.

“But too soon, he was called to more active duty and they were separated. So in this life, they must complete their relationship, both romantically and in some capacity, to work together.”

*Rolls eyes* Uh-huh. Thanks for sharing that psychic man.

I once saw a psychic become my mom thought someone put a spell on (don’t ask). She asked some questions about my life and I explained I was dating an Indian dude (dot, not feather) and had an affinity for antiques.

She went on to tell me my soul was from India and I was a gypsy dealing in antiques. Uh-huh. Thanks for sharing that psychic woman. Did I mention she was eating a Subway sandwich during the session?

Here’s an tone-less Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal at the beach in Malibu Monday.

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Reese Witherspoon & Jake Gyllenhaal's Call It Quits. Who Knew They Were Dating?!

Wait, wha’?! Jake Gyllenhaal was dating who?! Reese Witherspoon?!?! Ugh, he just lost some points because of that one. A source tells People Magazine:

“They just recently broke up. It’s totally and completely over.”

“Reese was the one who had to do it.”

“She just got out of a divorce and was so concerned with her family, she just didn’t have the time for him and he really demanded that.”

“They’re still friends. Things are fine, but it was a clean break – [there's] no chance of getting back together.”

No chance of getting back together, eh? Phew. So you’re saying there’s a chance?