The 66th Annual Golden Globe Awards were held in Beverly Hills last night, and as much as I’d like to tell you I sat through the show, the truth is I was watching that South Park rerun on the Peruvian flute bands and Anne Hathaway’s horse mug in “The Devil Wears Prada.”

There was a time when I used to beg my mom to let me stay up so I could watch the awards, but at that time I also played with Barbies and touched myself in secrecy. A lot has changed since then. So while I can’t give you a recap of the awards, I can give you a recap of all the babes that showed up. Let’s face it, you care more about the chicks then the awards anyway.

Click here for the list of winners.

66th Annual Golden Globe Awards Gallery – Pt. 1

Hayden Panettiere… I’m not saying she’s fat, but for a short girl gaining 5 lbs. makes a hell of a difference.

Elizabeth Banks… In my mind she’s the younger, sexier version of Chelsea Handler, but I’d still take Chelsea any day.

Eva Longoria…. Admit it, there’s something growing in your uterus. If we were to hold you up to a candle we could see the creature growing inside you. We already can.

America Ferrera… I think Ugly Betty is lame, but I love America and think she is absolutely beautiful. Sadly, I don’t know that many men would agree.

Vanessa Hudgens… Her nude photos will serve for a nice before and after comparison when she accepts Playboy’s offer to pose in the flesh five years from now.

Angelina Jolie… Kudos to her for contributing money and time to children in need. She still looks like a total c^nt.

Demi Moore… Ashton is tool. The end.

Isla Fisher… Is by far one of Hollywood sexiest redheads and I love the fact that she always has a smile on her face

Evan Rachel Wood… You’ll never be Dita Von Teese and for that reason you’ll always be second-best.

Christina Applegate… It’s impossible not to like this girl, but seriously, where are her boobs? I thought she said she was going to have the hottest pair in the nursing home?

Rita Wilson… Yes, I added Tom Hanks’ wife because he’s phenomenal, but most of all because I wanted to ask you: When did he get so old looking?

Anna Paquin… Two words: bottle opener.

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Hayden Panettiere

Eva Longoria

America Ferrera

Amanda Seyfried

Vanessa Hudgens

Angelina Jolie

Demi Moore

More Golden Globe glamour in 3…2….1…. Continue »

Sure, Demi Moore looks fantastic for someone closing in on a hundred.  Only she’s closing in on a hundred and should remind herself of such things.  Go home and pretend to be dead or something.  I don’t want to her out unless it’s to go to the store to buy herself Metamucil and Depends.  I don’t care if her husband is half her age and cute.  She needs to pick her sagging face off the ground and get away from the cameras.

Here’s the old beast at the premiere of her film Flawless, which is the opposite of what she looks like.

Demi Moore paid the “Late Show with David Letterman” a visit in New York City earlier today, where she stood outside momentarily and gave fans and the paps a less-than-stellar photo opp of her.

I’m not certain what’s going on in this photograph, but I believe that’s Demi trying to smile. Or maybe she’s trying desperately to hold back the tears as men angrily yell out how deceived they feel every time they have to stare at her daughter Rumer Willis‘ unfortunate face.

Rumer Willis gave her mother a run for her money when the two showed up at some event in Beverly Hills last night.

The problem? Her mother is Demi f^cking Moore and she’s Rumer f^cking Willis!

A trannie can put on a push up bra, but it’s still a tranny!!

Here’s Chin Face dressed in drag accompanied by her mom, Demi Moore, and her stepdad, Ashton Kutcher.

Actress Party girl Rumor Willis attended the 2nd Annual Think PR Pre-Sundance Lounge at Whiskey Blue in Brentwood, California yesterday. I bet you she’s pissed she won’t be Miss Golden Globe anymore, what with the awards show being canceled and all.

Whatever. The girl doesn’t deserve any more recognition. Her head is already too big for that body of hers, especially when you consider she hasn’t done jack.

“I feel like I’m really famous now. Before I started working, I would have said, ‘You know, it’s not really fair, because I didn’t choose this.’ But when you decide to be a part of this profession and put yourself out there, then you kind of have to accept what it is. It’s a 24-hour job,” she says.

“It doesn’t matter if you are going out to a restaurant – you have to be aware of what you are doing and how you look and how you are presenting yourself, because most of the time people never get to know you. Being famous isn’t going to parties … it’s about being able to use the power that we all have to kind of give back.”

Douche.

I’ve seen hemroids more attractive than her. See, kids, this is what happens when one’s mother has so much plastic surgery that it can no longer be determined what their offspring will look like.

Photo of Rumer’s sexy momma Demi Moore after the jump! Continue »

Here’s 45-year-old Demi Moore sporting a white bikini while vacationing with 29-year-old hubby Ashton Kutcher in Mexico.

The MILF looks fine as all hell, but whatever you do don’t tell me it’s because she has herself a boy toy that keeps her on her toes.  Half the world would look as hot after all the face lifts and tummy tucks and knee surgeries this woman has had.

More photos after the jump!

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How dare Donna Karan show us her filthy cleavage, and next to Demi no less.  In all fairness the hag is 58-years-old. Not Demi Moore though, she’ll never age.  I bet her cooch smells of lavender.

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Drew Barrymore is the new face for Gucci’s fine jewelry line, and although I’ve never thought her particularly attractive she evokes a relatively desirable look of sensuality in the campaign advertisements. As if to say those oysters and bottle of wine are finally starting to kick in,  leaving her sprawled out naked on your bed purring for your touch.

More photos after the jump!

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Demi Moore looked flawless as ever last night at the “Une Journee A Paris” hosted by Van Cleef & Arpels in New York City. You would be too if you were downing the protein shakes of man nearly half your age.

More photos after the jump!

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