Growing up, I had an uncle, one of like 7 on my mom’s side, whom I was told to avoid.  ”If Uncle Jackson shows up at our door, lock the dead-bolt and come get Mommy or Daddy.”  I always imagined that Uncle Jackson had a car on which one of the quarterpanels was a different color than the rest of the body, and that he paid for any purchase under $10 with expired coupons and coins (“Uncle Jackson doesn’t use the Coinstar because it gives 5% of your change away to charities”).  But what would have happened if Uncle Jackson had married a fantastically rich but reality-handicapped superstarstress?  The answer, of course, is Kevin Federline.  K-Fed was recently sued to the tune of $110,661 by the owners of the last house he rented.

Kevin Federline did not pay the rent, you see (party foul!), and also created a bit of a mess.  Here is the list of home defurbishments listed in the suit, all donated by the Kevin Federline Extreme Home Makeover Experience, plus pictures.

1) Gutters full of cigarette butts and empty beer bottles…   Continue »

The striptease music video is something of a rite for American lady popstars, the point at which the singer decides it’s time, career-wise, to say look, I’m Sexual!  Though, in fact, everyone else was having these thoughts for years.  Britney’s done it, Madonna’s done it, Xtina was basically orbiting a stripper pole from 2002 to 2005.  And now, a little belatedly, Shakira’s doing one.

It’s for the new single “She Wolf.”  Says the director, “Shakira is getting in touch with her inner She Wolf which is a kind of predatory sensuality.”  Though she’s in a cage, which is great for the whole stripper thing, but kind of deflates the predator metaphor, you know?  Behind-the-scenes footage and a clip from the new vid, ATJ.   Continue »

Ahh, the Britney Spears everyone knows and wants to love.  However, she might not be the same ol’ Brit Brit but she still does the trick for lots of cronies in Russia that are trying to learn to speak English.  Awesomely, using the lyrics of her songs the best they will know about English is the term, “Baby, one more time.”  So if they every decide to visit the Mustang Ranch–they’re set.

Check out the video after the jump>>> Continue »

Sad lonely Green Lantern is the one superhero left not to have his own movie.  But he may have the best movie of all.  Because while other heroes got Tobey Maguire, Robert Downey, Jr., Christian Bale, and whoever was in Superman – all fine actors – Green Lantern may be none other than Justin Timberlake.  Casting is for the movie is going down as we speak, so to speak.

This week, the race narrowed to Bradley Cooper, Ryan Reynolds and Justin Timberlake. The clock is ticking on the decision as the holding deal the studio had on the actors expired Monday, meaning the three are now free to accept other offers.

Bradley Cooper was the Hangover guy and Ryan Reynolds was in that one movie, but neither of them has wooed Britney Spears using only a penis and a gift box.  More details…   Continue »

Britney Spears is a cultural ambassador no doubt, like it or not.  So it only makes sense that in Russia, “Mother Britni” is the patron saint of English as a second language.  Witness this ad for Ling-Way Language Center, in which a table of ancient Russian babushkas join in a chorus of “Hit Me Baby One More Time,” as imagined by the Macbeth witches.

With a 90-year-old Justin Timberlake on the accordian.  Excellent video, aTj:   Continue »

All the supporting players in the surreal Michael Jackson life-play are coming out of the woodwork now to get theirs.  Uri Geller, a q-side celebrity in Britain who has the power to bend spoons with his mind (aliens granted it to him, apparently), has rattled off a whole host of Jackson problems and secrets, from his doctor-assisted drug use to his secret girlfriend (hmm).

But perhaps most noteworthy is the new interview in which Bubbles, MJ’s chimapanzee friend, finally breaks the silence.  Details and video interview with Bubbles the chimpanzee, after the fame… after the jump.   Continue »

Britney Spears is selling her 7500 square-foot Beverly Hills mansion – or trying to, anyway.  The house was first listed on the market in September at $7.9 million, but earlier this month, this price was slashed to $6.5 million.

This has attracted an unexpected potential buyer, a 48-year-old Russian farmer known only as Alexei.  Alexei’s real estate holdings are already significant:

“The man has primarily been involved in agriculture for the past 16 years. At the current time among Alexei’s assets are 1,000 hectares of land, two pig farms, horticultural gardens and fruit and vegetable production facilities.”

Continue »

Every blog large and small round the globe is reporting on Today’s Big Story.  What is it?  Obama invaded North Korea?  The sinking of the Hindenburgtanic?  Techno music is cool again?  No.  (But soon.)

It’s Britney Spears and her photos of not having a shirt on!  This post is work-friendly, by the way, but links to the NSFW stuff, after the jump. Continue »

Here’s a video of Sean Preston and Jaden James dancing during the break in Britney’s tour.  They’re adorable but my big fear is now that there’s video of them on the internet being little Britney Spears puppets she’ll force them into indentured servitude like her mother did her by putting them in the entertainment industry like her mother did her.  At any rate, I suppose we should all support this by watching what might be an exploitative video of children after the jump>>> Continue »

What’s a commodity that can hold its market value and reliably generate profit even in an adverse economic climate?  The obvious answer would have to be “Kevin Federline,” right?  And yet, now word comes out that even that man who gave this world “PopoZao” is struggling in these economically trying times.  Actually, he’s straight-up broke.  Continue »