Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt

When you’re answering a job posting on Craigslist for “celebrity needed,” the requirements you have to meet are pretty lax, actually.  ”Some or no education,” “discreet at pre-noon drinking,” “have a face that magazine camera scientists can work with,” “can sign own name,” etc.

So should we really expect celebrities to come up with incisive, topical, and funny costumes for Halloween, considering the requisite celebrity skill set?  The answer is yes, because 1) some of these people have a good sense of humor or at least a good wardrobe guy, right? and 2) all of these people have so much damn money that they can waltz into a costume store and declare, “Hi, I’m Jamie Foxx, and for Halloween, I am going to be the recently unveiled experimental Ares IX Mars rocket.  The costume should be made entirely of regulation NASA parts, and I think it goes without saying that there should also be a motorized launchpad.  Please have it ready by 4.”  So really, there’s no excuse for these q-side Halloween get-ups.  Annotated gallery of the worst of celebrity Halloween (plus a few of the best), after the jump.   Continue »

Maxim has a photoshoot and interview with Audrina Patridge, who was the brunette one on The Hills.  Apparently, she’s leaving that show (you won’t have Audrina Patridge to kick around anymore!) and joining a new one, called The Audrina Show.  Will that show actually come to fruition?  Seems doubtful – Audrina is 24, which in scripted-reality-teenage-drama-in-New-York-or-California years is about 97.  No one wants to watch a 97-year-old getting sloppy on Bacardi Breezers and cry-shouting at Brody Jenner near a hotel pool, MTV.  It’s just crass.

Audrina is also in Sorority Row, though, which promises to be the best high school or college horror schlock film of the year until Jennifer’s Body is released a week later.  Photoshoot and some choice interview bits, ATJ:   Continue »

One of the best Holiday presents I’ve yet to receive this year is MTV’s The Hills season finally coming to an end. Here are Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls performing at the celebration for the finale in New York City earlier this week, were cast member Audrina Patridge was also in attendance.

Of course, a better present would be for the entire cast of The Hills, along with the Pussycat Dolls, to just disappear all together, but apparently Santa is not that generous. In any case, I suppose we ought to make the best of it. If you had the opportunity to hook-up with either one of these vapid brunettes, which one would it be? Don’t worry, you wouldn’t have to talk to them in this fantasy make believe. That definitely helps.

Check out more pics of the two this way>>>

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Kim Kardashian

Audrina Patridge

Christina Milian

Christina Aguilera

Lauren Conrad

Aubrey O’Day

Nicole CoCo Austin

More this way>>> Continue »

Earlier this week talentless reality hos Audrina Patridge and Kim Kardashian came out for the Grand Opening of XIV Restaurant in West Hollywood thus raising the question, would your willie rather rub back and forth between fake boobies or a fake booty?

I know it’s a tough one, but if you just take 15 minutes to sit down with your main man between your legs I’m sure the answer will be revealed. It helps if you pet him. They tend to like that. If your hands are too tired, ask for help from one of your fellow female coworkers or classmates. Sometimes two is better then one, especially if it means one hand on your wood and the other massaging your sack.

I’ve added some extra pics of Kim at the 7th Annual “Los Premios MTV Latin America 2008″ Awards in Guadalajara, Mexico yesterday.

Audrina Patridge puts on her bikini once again for the Nov. issue of Maxim Magazine.  What am I saying? She didn’t put on her bikini.  The bikini is this vapid brunette’s uniform, like a damn cartoon always wearing the same exact thing.

It’s amazing, I never thought modeling was hard until I see photoshoots like this one.  That same lifeless expression in every single damn photo.  Clearly Tyra hasn’t taught Audrina how to smile with her eyes.  Although, more than likely the chick just can’t do it physically.  Her brain is too stupid to figure how to be a three-dimensional person with more than just “derrrrrr” as a facial expression.

It’s been recently announced that Audrina Patridge, who reportedly makes a disgusting $700,00 for each season of The Hills, will be co-designing jeans with her favorite denim line, Divine Rights of Denim.

Unlike Lauren’s higher-priced line, Audrina’s denim collaboration will likely be more affordable — Divine Rights of Denim jeans normally start at $58. Audrina’s line and her ads will be coming out in November.

That’s not the only new gig her rack has gotten. The 23-year-old reality TV dummy took off her bikini long enough in Placentia, California yesterday to make an appearance at a gig at an OfficeMax.

Wow, Audrina sure is moving up in the world. A gig at OfficeMax, pretty effing sweet.  What’s next, Taco Bell?

HOLY GOATBALLS! Audrina Patridge has decided she wants to quit the entertainment business for a more productive, fulfilling life by attending Yale University!  The Apocalypse is officially upon us.

It would be really fun to have my own TV show,” she tells In Touch.

In fact, the 23-year-old, who’s been sharing The Hills spotlight for the past two seasons, is already entertaining offers.  “She has been in talks with MTV for her own show, but nothing is set in stone just yet,” says an insider.

Besides, the aspiring actress is hoping to move beyond reality — she’s currently building her résumé by filming Sorority Row with Rumer Willis. “I want to focus on acting and reading scripts and playing characters,” she says.

Alright, so I made a bad joke. I know none of you bought that BS. This droopy-eyed, vacant snot wouldn’t dream of doing something that would require her to use something more than just her awkward t!ts to break out of her materialistic life.

Instead she’ll give acting a go, fall flat on her face, bounce back thanks to her balloons for boobs, marry some rich dude, get divorced, marry another rich dude, get divorced, marry some other rich dude, and then find out during her third divorce that she has skin cancer from having spent her entire life in a bikini under the sun.

I’ve added some pics of Audrina in her day-to-day wardrobe below. This chick is like a damn cartoon. Different episode, same outfit.

Rihanna

Bar Rafaeli

Christina Aguilera

Britney Spears

Lindsay Lohan

Katy Perry

Tila Tequila

Audrina Patridge

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