Angelina Jolie, sources say, is tired of Hollywood.  She’s really psyched about politics and “causes” and adopting poor children and such, so she’s going to do something about it.  Angelina Jolie is going to save us from ourselves.  Says a friend,

“I would place a huge wager on her becoming the first female president in the next 20 years. When Ange sets her mind on something, she goes all out to do it.”

Past political experience includes being the Queen of Macedonia and mother to Alexander the Great, Scourge of Kings Hrothgar and Beowulf, and a secret agent.  Better than being some “community organizer” ha!  Old jokes!  Angelina’s path to power, after the jump.   Continue »

Angelina Jolie, Queen of Earth, is most displeased with one of her subjects.  Sources say that she has finally become chagrined with the insolent upstart Megan Fox, who eyes her throne so covetously.  Evidently Ms. Megan has been gunning for the Lara Croft role in the next Tomb Raider movie:

“Angie isn’t a fan of the Transformers films and believes Megan won’t do the Lara Croft character justice. She’s also annoyed because she thinks Megan copies everything from her, from her tattoos to her style.”

Ladies, please.  This is how pillow fights get started.  I have put together a sampling of action hero pictures of Jolie and Fox.  You be the judge, after the jump.   Continue »

The 66th Annual Golden Globe Awards were held in Beverly Hills last night, and as much as I’d like to tell you I sat through the show, the truth is I was watching that South Park rerun on the Peruvian flute bands and Anne Hathaway’s horse mug in “The Devil Wears Prada.”

There was a time when I used to beg my mom to let me stay up so I could watch the awards, but at that time I also played with Barbies and touched myself in secrecy. A lot has changed since then. So while I can’t give you a recap of the awards, I can give you a recap of all the babes that showed up. Let’s face it, you care more about the chicks then the awards anyway.

Click here for the list of winners.

66th Annual Golden Globe Awards Gallery – Pt. 1

Hayden Panettiere… I’m not saying she’s fat, but for a short girl gaining 5 lbs. makes a hell of a difference.

Elizabeth Banks… In my mind she’s the younger, sexier version of Chelsea Handler, but I’d still take Chelsea any day.

Eva Longoria…. Admit it, there’s something growing in your uterus. If we were to hold you up to a candle we could see the creature growing inside you. We already can.

America Ferrera… I think Ugly Betty is lame, but I love America and think she is absolutely beautiful. Sadly, I don’t know that many men would agree.

Vanessa Hudgens… Her nude photos will serve for a nice before and after comparison when she accepts Playboy’s offer to pose in the flesh five years from now.

Angelina Jolie… Kudos to her for contributing money and time to children in need. She still looks like a total c^nt.

Demi Moore… Ashton is tool. The end.

Isla Fisher… Is by far one of Hollywood sexiest redheads and I love the fact that she always has a smile on her face

Evan Rachel Wood… You’ll never be Dita Von Teese and for that reason you’ll always be second-best.

Christina Applegate… It’s impossible not to like this girl, but seriously, where are her boobs? I thought she said she was going to have the hottest pair in the nursing home?

Rita Wilson… Yes, I added Tom Hanks’ wife because he’s phenomenal, but most of all because I wanted to ask you: When did he get so old looking?

Anna Paquin… Two words: bottle opener.

Continue »

Hayden Panettiere

Eva Longoria

America Ferrera

Amanda Seyfried

Vanessa Hudgens

Angelina Jolie

Demi Moore

More Golden Globe glamour in 3…2….1…. Continue »

Katy Perry

Kristen Bell

Anne Hathaway

Elizabeth Banks

Amanda Bynes

More >>> Continue »

The 14th Annual Critics’ Choice Awards was held in Santa Monica last night, where actresses Kate Beckinsale and Angelina Jolie strutted their stuff down the red carpet.

Both these women are some of Hollywood’s favorite MILFs, but if you could only have one, who would it be? It must be said, Angelina certainly sounds like she’d be a spitfire in the sack, but outside of that she just may be a little too serious. Every time you see Kate she’s smiling or laughing.

Check out the MILFs at the Critics’ Choice Awards >>> Continue »

Angelina Jolie is on the cover of Cosmo Germany next month.  Since I don’t read German I like to think the entire article is about her love of scat parties.  Really, the best part of this is the fact that everytime I see a German porno feces is somehow involved and that is now seared into my brain forever.

To see more photos of Angelina and not scat parties click here Continue »

Am I the only person on Earth that misses skanky old, banging Billy Bob Thorton in the back of a limo while making out with her brother on stage, Angelina Jolie?  Sure, this new demure, baby popping Angelina Jolie is sort of fun cause every interview she does she finds a way to torture Jennifer Aniston.

Hmm, I guess Angelina Jolie is still the same old skank she always was, but now she’s smart enough to push buttons in a way that makes her seem fresh and glamorous.  Man, how totally Hollywood.

For the rest of the InStyle photo shoot check after the jump Continue »

It’s been three years since Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt divorced, and the Team Aniston vs. Team Jolie war shows no signs of slowing down.  

Aniston was recently quoted as having said what Angelina did to her was “not cool,” causing uproar in the gossip community, with readers taking sides, quick to voice their opinions on the situation.

For me it’s a little different. The truth is I don’t really care. I used to love Angelina Jolie and wanted to be her in every sense of the word growing up. She was bold, yet proud, but above all sexy 24/7.  But now I look at her and she’s just so blah.

At age 33, years of sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll and popping out babies have finally caught up Angelina Jolie, looking more frail and aged by the day.  On the flip side you have Jennifer Aniston, who is 39 and six years older than Angelina, and still looks about as young and taught as she did back on the early days of Friends.

Here is Angelina Jolie at the Los Angeles premiere of “The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button” in Los Angeles, California yesterday, and Jennifer Aniston at the “Marley & Me” press conference at the Casa Del Mar Hotel in Santa Monica, California over the weekend.

What do you say, which one?

Have a lot on your plate with work or school? Need a moment to go day-tripping (not as defined by Webster’s) and get away from it all?  Then today is your lucky day.

Angelina Jolie’s spread for next month’s issue of Harper’s Bazaar Magazine is now available for our viewing pleasure, and boy is she entrancing!

Five minutes of staring deep into her eyes and you’ll have sworn you just got back from a Greecian cruise with massages and happy endings free of charge or limited visits.