Insane Clown Posse - how truthful is the cover to the book?  Insane?  Not really.  Most professionals in the fields of mental health and the law now consider insanity to be a clinical condition, typically due to neurological imbalances.  Would our health care system allow a truly insane 37-year-old man spend twenty years pretending to be a character from Twisted Metal while screaming verses of something called Bang! Pow! Boom!…?  (That argument brought to you by citizens for the public option.)  Posse?  Well there are just the two guys.  So not really a posse.  Insane Clown Duo, more like.  Clowns?  Sure, we can agree on that assessment.  But are they true clowns, or are they clowns… like a fox?  Because this so-called posse of so-called insane clowns (so-called) are netting $10 million every year from their act for, I don’t know, 401Ks or scholarship funds for their children or whatever insane clowns put their savings toward.

How do ICP continue to profit as the rest of the music industry walks the plank?  Well, according to the Detroit Free Press, when the face paint comes off, these guys are more like the Completely Sane Serious Posse of their business model…   Continue »

Too often, reality TV winners use their prize money for selfish ends.  ”I’m going to go back to college.”  ”I can finally get the most basic level of health insurance.”  ”I want to adopt an impoverished child.”  Selfish, yet we turn a blind eye.  But when a Big Brother winner tries to use his lucre entrepreneurially and provide a much-needed service to his community, the police have to get involved.  Adam “Baller” Jasinski (by his sobriquet, you are to understand he is a baller), the winner of 2008’s BB,

was busted Saturday night by the DEA with 2,000 oxycodone pills during an attempted drug deal in North Reading, MA. Jasinki was thrown in jail and charged with possession of oxycodone pills with intent to distribute.

Cops say Jasinski admitted to funding his illegal venture with his $500,000 winnings from the show.

Recession’s tough on small businesses everywhere, guy.  Jasinski apparently protested the legal intervention, though…   Continue »

Do you ever get so pumped about a sporting event that you just completely lose track of where you are and what you’re doing?  This guy knows what I’m talking about.  This guy also really hates Steve Spurrier’s visor.  Why do you hate Steve Spurrier’s visor so much, wonders the interviewer lady.  She does not know.  He does not know.  It’s cool – the hell some shrink’s gonna make this kid take his medication on GAME DAY.

I think we can all agree: University of Georgia superfan today, announcer who yells “sunday Sunday SUNDAY!!” at monster truck rallies tomorrow.  No amount of recession getting in the way of that career.

Via UniqueDaily.

Sponsored post here from Sony: yesterday marked the DVD release of the 2008 Mischa Barton number Assassination of a High School President.  Mischa plays a worldly high-school senior who helps a sophomore student paper reporter track down a set of missing (AKA STOLEN) SATs.  But since standardized testing is for lamewads, you can trust that the real focus here is kids going nuts on the Blue Lightning and taking a break every so often for a premarital heavy petting interlude.  The movie tagline is, “Politics, popularity, paranoia, pharmaceuticals. Are you in?”  (You may now pause to stretch your collar and make a “too soon” grimace.)

I haven’t seen this movie, but IMDB gives it a strong 7.7, and it also features the talents of Quinn Shephard as “Eye Patch Girl” and Ashley Springer as “White Kid With Dreds.”  Furthermore, if four of you buy the DVD, Sony will give me a free house.  Wherever I want.  So let’s do this.

Exclusive hilarious redband trailer, after the J.  From the look of it, the real talent here is whoever plays the Italian kid.  ”A single p*ssy hair can pull a battleship through the desert.”  OK, Salvador Dali!  They grow up so fast. Continue »

So MTV is going ahead and airing the eight-episode DJ AM (real name: Adam Goldstein) reality show Gone Too Far, about the struggles of twentysomething drug addicts.  It will begin next Monday, which is something like only six weeks after the DJ’s death in late August.

“After careful consideration we have decided to air the show. Adam felt strongly that by doing this series he could help other addicts who were at a crisis point to get sober,” the Goldstein family said in a statement…” The decision to air the show has been difficult, but we do this with the profound belief that it will inspire others to seek help.”

Some details about the show’s more dramatic moments have already been publicized, ATJ.  Continue »

Weird scene alert: Venezuelan president and garbage-disposal mouth Hugo Chavez (the garbage comes from his brain and gets all chopped and screwed and sprayed out his mouth, is how that image is supposed to work in your head.  Also in Canada, they call it a “garburator.”  A seriously Canadian person told me that.) was smooching various celebrity behinds at the premiere of Oliver Stone’s new documentary South of the Border.  Susan Sarandon was there, and Danny Glover, and Shia f*cking LaBeouf!  Talk about your Fantasy Celebrityball team.  But Hugo Chavez only had eyes for one lucky lady: Courtney Love…   Continue »

New sitcom on ABC: Friends With Benefits.  Literally brought to you by the guys who made (500) Days of Summer and Wedding Crashers.

“It’s about a group of twentysomethings at a point in their lives that everyone can relate to, when they ask questions like:’Is this your girlfriend or someone you just hang out with? Is this a job, or is this a career?” Weber said. “We will be tracking their lives and the decisions they make.”

Super.  Kelly considers Chad her best friend, but Chad is secretly in love with Kelly.  Oh no, he’s on the Friend Ladder!  Woh woh wah.  Phil wants to watch the Ravens game with the guys, but he forgot that he promised Chrissie he would go to her place and have intercourse with her instead!  Now he sure is slapping his forehead!  How’s he gonna get out of this one??  Total ball and chain!  Karen went out to buy a whole rack of ribs so she could make Tim his favorite meal, but by the time she gets home, he has already fallen asleep on the couch – and he took all his Xanax and drank the whole handle of Jim Beam again!  That was supposed to be for the party, Tim!   Continue »

One Day at a Time sitcom star and narcotics aficionado Mackenzie Phillips is releasing a “tell-all” memoir titled High on Arrival.  It promises to be a heartwarming story about addiction, depravity, despair, self-loathing, rock-bottom-hitting, and, uh, redemption!  Maybe.  But mostly about incest: People has the revelation that Phillips had a long, vaguely consensual sex relationship with her father, singer John Phillips of the Mamas and the Papas…   Continue »

Was I ever in a gang?  Not exactly, no.  I was in a college one time for a few years, but it’s really not quite the same thing, and is, in fact, a completely different thing.  So I don’t really know what it’s like to be in a gang.  I’ll tell you what it’s not like, though.  It’s not like hanging out with a pair of statuesque nineteen-year-old twin sisters as they lead a classy coven of snappily-dressed femmes fatales on a series of ultra-chic drug binges and fabulous felony assaults.  That only happens in the movies (Sorority Row in theaters now!), right?  Wrong.  It also happens in Australia.

Courtney and Amelia Prentice were sentenced to 18 months’ probation after their gang of lady-muggers beat up some unfortunate tourists…   Continue »

When Lil Wayne talks, people listen.  What is he talking about?  Who knows.  Way to be beside the point.  Treatments?  Fingers?  Making anything sound good?  I watched this twice, and I think he’s talking about playing the guitar, but on the other hand, it is equally plausible that he is talking about driving a double-decker dreambus around the world on Route 0 (the ocean floor superhighway).  I think a police dog could probably sniff out the narcotics in this man’s bloodstream.  Hell, I think a regular person with regular drug-detecting abilities could probably sniff out the narcotics in Wayne’s bloodstream.  Like, “hey is that codeine I smell?  Somebody making drank?”  ”Nope, that’s just Weezy.  He has a rare medical condition in which his body is 60% prescription cough syrup instead of 60% water.”

Funny preview clip from his upcoming Behind the Music: Continue »