http://flisted.com Hot Celebrity Snatch Wed, 18 Nov 2009 04:03:33 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ en hourly 1 http://www.gravatar.com/blavatar/b2777396757d45acaf7e20eded674e67?s=96&d=http://s.wordpress.com/i/buttonw-com.png http://flisted.com http://flisted.com/87801/british-beauty-queens-fight-in-nightclub-over-a-man-named-tornado/ http://flisted.com/87801/british-beauty-queens-fight-in-nightclub-over-a-man-named-tornado/#comments Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:01:02 +0000 Ben http://flisted.com/?p=87801 Ah, the British.  Give Britain's millions of wayward youths (chavs, wankers, you know the ones) credit for doing their darnedest to erase the international Anglo image of expensive hats, peerages, and porcelain clocks.  In ten years, when we think "U.K." it'll be casual sex, knife fights, and reckless drinking.  This story more or less summarizes the story of Future Britain: Miss England, Rachel Christie, attacked Miss Manchester, Sara Beverley Jones, in the wee hours at a nightclub. Miss England has relinquished her crown.  The fight was over a man.  His name is "Tornado," and he is the British equivalent of an American Gladiator.  More details, ATJ: ]]> http://flisted.com/87801/british-beauty-queens-fight-in-nightclub-over-a-man-named-tornado/feed/ 0 Ben BIT OF A TIFFLE http://flisted.com/87718/what-your-beer-says-about-your-personality/ http://flisted.com/87718/what-your-beer-says-about-your-personality/#comments Wed, 04 Nov 2009 17:21:26 +0000 Ben http://flisted.com/?p=87718 Fascinating study here from Ad Age that more or less confirms your predilections and prejudices about different beer brands.  A company called Mindset Media polled over 2,000 beer drinkers about their lifestyles.  Some of the data is not surprising (Bud Light is favored by "frat boys"!), but some of it validates more elusive stereotypes you sort of identified but never could quite articulate: "Corona drinkers are 91% more likely than average to buy recycled products and 38% more likely to own three or more flat-screen TVs."  Corona, the beer of choice for the wealthy, kind, happy, thoughtful people you hate. But what of Budweiser, Heineken, and craft beers?  After the jump.   ]]> http://flisted.com/87718/what-your-beer-says-about-your-personality/feed/ 0 Ben if you like Duff Beer, you are 68% more likely to be Duff Man http://flisted.com/87473/throwing-poop-at-the-jury-somehow-fails-to-win-a-not-guilty-verdict/ http://flisted.com/87473/throwing-poop-at-the-jury-somehow-fails-to-win-a-not-guilty-verdict/#comments Tue, 27 Oct 2009 16:18:00 +0000 Ben http://flisted.com/?p=87473 The insanity defense is really the American legal system's equivalent of trying to win Dancing With the Stars by being fat, clumsy, and involved in computers.  It is the "I am doing such a bad job at this defense that it is impossible I could even be serious, and therefore I should win" defense.  It's also a pretty all-in move: when it fails, it proverbially falls on the proverbial dance floor and breaks multiple limbs and is put to death via lethal injection for doing such a bad job.  What I'm trying to say is, don't throw poop at the jurors.  Really, do not bank on that working.  One Weusi McGowan, a home intruder and robber out of San Diego, found this out the hard way. McGowan, who attorneys say suffers from mental illness, had asked for a mistrial because he believed jurors had seen him in restraints when he entered the courtroom. Several days after his request was denied, McGowan pulled out a bag of excrement he had hidden in his clothing, rubbed it on his lawyer and tossed it at the jury, hitting one juror's computer case. The jury responded by throwing the book (not literally) at McGowan...   ]]> http://flisted.com/87473/throwing-poop-at-the-jury-somehow-fails-to-win-a-not-guilty-verdict/feed/ 3 Ben whereas in monkey court, habeas feces is actually required http://flisted.com/87366/fight-a-kardashian/ http://flisted.com/87366/fight-a-kardashian/#comments Thu, 22 Oct 2009 20:11:50 +0000 Ben http://flisted.com/?p=87366 At one point or another we've all asked ourselves, "Which Kardashian would I fight?"  While the answer is obviously "Bruce Jenner," you can now take them all on, provided you have the cash. TKO Boxing presents the "Kardashian Charity Knock Out". This is your chance to step into the ring and duke it out with your favorite Keeping up With The Kardashians cast member for a good cause. Kim, Khloe, Bruce, Rob, and Scott are looking for you to raise money for their favorite charity. Winners will box the Kardashians cast at the Commerce Casino on November 3rd for a televised taping of "Keeping Up with The Kardashians". No Kourtney?  Look you may be "pregnant" (whatever that is), but this is for charity, so let's not be selfish for a change. Specifically, it's for the Dream Foundation, the "largest national wish granting organization for adults battling life-threatening illness."  Don't you want those adults' wishes to come true, Kourtney Kardashian?   ]]> http://flisted.com/87366/fight-a-kardashian/feed/ 5 Ben khloe's got a killer left hook http://flisted.com/87229/stupid-celebrity-gift-ideas-happy-birthday-katy-perry-edition/ http://flisted.com/87229/stupid-celebrity-gift-ideas-happy-birthday-katy-perry-edition/#comments Tue, 20 Oct 2009 15:21:48 +0000 Ben http://flisted.com/?p=87229 What do you get for the girl who has everything?  If you think buying gifts for your gal is hard, imagine if she were a celebrity.  You can only buy so many Hummers before the Hummer Room is full and/or you've already gone through all the factory colors.  You can only destroy so many island resort penthouses with her in a days-long happy birthday cocaine rage before the other island resorts start to wonder if hosting a celebrity couple is worth replacing all the plasma screens that wind up the Jacuzzi.  You can only pay $36 million upfront to send her up on the shuttle as a space tourist only to have her back out of flight training because the zero-gravity chamber gives her hair split ends, before you start running out of $36 million sums of money. So give credit to British comedian/VJ/wanker/tosser/cobbler (new British insult for lazy and doltish individuals) Russell Brand, who has procured a most unusual gift for his lady Katy Perry on the occasion of her 25th birthday.  He got her...   ]]> http://flisted.com/87229/stupid-celebrity-gift-ideas-happy-birthday-katy-perry-edition/feed/ 1 Ben love is walking hand in hand through the robot petting zoo http://flisted.com/87224/enterprising-reality-tv-champ-uses-winnings-to-start-drug-business/ http://flisted.com/87224/enterprising-reality-tv-champ-uses-winnings-to-start-drug-business/#comments Tue, 20 Oct 2009 14:25:52 +0000 Ben http://flisted.com/?p=87224 Too often, reality TV winners use their prize money for selfish ends.  "I'm going to go back to college."  "I can finally get the most basic level of health insurance."  "I want to adopt an impoverished child."  Selfish, yet we turn a blind eye.  But when a Big Brother winner tries to use his lucre entrepreneurially and provide a much-needed service to his community, the police have to get involved.  Adam "Baller" Jasinski (by his sobriquet, you are to understand he is a baller), the winner of 2008's BB, was busted Saturday night by the DEA with 2,000 oxycodone pills during an attempted drug deal in North Reading, MA. Jasinki was thrown in jail and charged with possession of oxycodone pills with intent to distribute. Cops say Jasinski admitted to funding his illegal venture with his $500,000 winnings from the show. Recession's tough on small businesses everywhere, guy.  Jasinski apparently protested the legal intervention, though...   ]]> http://flisted.com/87224/enterprising-reality-tv-champ-uses-winnings-to-start-drug-business/feed/ 0 Ben as though the producers aren't giving these people drugs the whole time http://flisted.com/86517/which-country-has-the-worlds-worst-lovers/ http://flisted.com/86517/which-country-has-the-worlds-worst-lovers/#comments Wed, 30 Sep 2009 16:12:01 +0000 Ben http://flisted.com/?p=86517 In one of the most audaciously fluffy pieces of fluff I've seen in a respected newspaper, The Telegraph has blown the lid off a study that major world governments don't want you to hear about: The poll, carried out by global research site www.OnePoll.com, asked women from 20 countries to rate nations on their ability in bed and give reasons for their answers. Well, American men came in a number five on the list of shame because we are "too dominating" in bed (file that one under "Sorry I Party"), but we certainly could have done worse in figuring out woman and sex.  Full list of the best and worst countries, after the jump, with the reasons for each ranking included.  It's like a party and all your favorite national stereotypes are invited!   ]]> http://flisted.com/86517/which-country-has-the-worlds-worst-lovers/feed/ 9 Ben i've had to google image search "bad sex" two days in a row now http://flisted.com/86438/human-centipede-is-your-new-grossest-movie-of-the-year/ http://flisted.com/86438/human-centipede-is-your-new-grossest-movie-of-the-year/#comments Tue, 29 Sep 2009 15:10:16 +0000 Ben http://flisted.com/?p=86438 There was a lot of squawking and flapping when Lars von Trier's new film Antichrist debuted at Cannes a few months ago.  I haven't seen it, but apparently it assaulted the eyes with both genital mutilation and Willem Dafoe (a real one-two punch right there), thus earning it accolades as the Gross Art Movie of the Year.  But now it looks like Christmas came twice for perverts this year, because there's a literally sick new movie on the block, and it is called Human Centipede.  From a description of the film: In The Human Centipede, Dr. Heiter (Dieter Laser) is a leering, sepulchral surgeon from Germany whose specialty is separating Siamese twins. Dr. Heiter decides to evolve his craft by sewing together living beings together at the "mucous-cutaneous zone" (guess) in order to create Siamese triplets with a single digestive system. Since "mucous-cutaneous" could mean a lot of things, I'll give you a hint: it is much, much better to be the first person in the centipede than the second.  So far only a short but disturbing clip of the flick seems to have been released.  Plus more description, after the jump.   ]]> http://flisted.com/86438/human-centipede-is-your-new-grossest-movie-of-the-year/feed/ 7 Ben they drew straws for positions http://flisted.com/86165/i-think-we-have-a-new-worlds-most-expensive-liquor/ http://flisted.com/86165/i-think-we-have-a-new-worlds-most-expensive-liquor/#comments Tue, 22 Sep 2009 20:40:21 +0000 Ben http://flisted.com/?p=86165 A few months ago, I attempted to track down the world's most expensive cocktail.  The winner was a champagne-based monstrosity called "Dazzle," which is served at the Harvey Nichols department store in Manchester, UK.  Security guards accompany the drink from the bar to your table.  It comes with a free diamond ring!  Free after you pay tens of thousands of dollars, I mean.  But now legendary French liqueur-smith Chambord has created a one-of-a-kind bottle that trammels every other so-called expensive tipple.  Even the most expensive wines to go to auction - the kind of stuff Thomas Jefferson was drinking - never command this kind of price. The Chambord bottle is tricked out with "gold, diamonds, and pearls."  Guess how much it's worth.   ]]> http://flisted.com/86165/i-think-we-have-a-new-worlds-most-expensive-liquor/feed/ 1 Ben or you could just buy 2 million PBRs http://flisted.com/86044/theyfit-rolls-out-handy-condom-sizing-chart-find-your-custom-size/ http://flisted.com/86044/theyfit-rolls-out-handy-condom-sizing-chart-find-your-custom-size/#comments Fri, 18 Sep 2009 17:29:14 +0000 Ben http://flisted.com/?p=86044 TheyFit is a condom company in Europe that makes bespoke condoms for the gentleman who requires - nay, demands - a sheath of precision to complement the length and girth of his gentlemanliness in the most exact and judicious manner possible. And now, a handy sizing chart (the "CONDOMania FIT KIT").  Print it out and take it to the party tonight for a fun conversation starter - no girls allowed!  Talk to me when you start making an X27, TheyFit.  (Self-high-five!)  I like how the measurements go from "wide" to "wider" and "long" to "longer."  No one has to have a small penis that way!  Just like how you can only order your Starbucks coffee in Tall, Venti, and Hella Venti or whatever. Via Gizmodo.  Here's the full-size PDF. ]]> http://flisted.com/86044/theyfit-rolls-out-handy-condom-sizing-chart-find-your-custom-size/feed/ 3 Ben "can i just order a large?"