For prisoners in Dorset, UK, the swine flu outbreak was like Christmas Eve, if all your richest friends had a joint bachelor party on Christmas Eve.  It was the best outbreak ever!  In the spirit of swine flu, the wardens gave the prisoners the best gift of all: an innocuous everyday item that can be misused as a weapon and/or intoxicant.  In this case, antibacterial hand sanitizer.

The Guardian reported in August that the NHS was aware of a rising number of cases of patients with drink or drug problems stealing the £10-a-litre gel and mixing it with orange juice, Lucozade or cola to create powerful cocktails.

Unfortunately, the party was broken up by the cops…   Continue »

50 Cent is like the Google of the rap world.  He may not be good at every venture he undertakes (like “making rap music”), but the man is completely indefatigable about having an iron in every fire possible.  Guy is addicted to the hustle.  His agents are like, “50, you have a million bajillion dollars, you don’t need to develop and market a line of perfumes.  Ladies don’t want to smell like you!”  It’s not about the money, agents.  50 Cent book?  In stores soon (check the “Self Help: Slangin’” section).  50 Cent couture?  Look out the window, we blew by that miles ago.  Now we’re on 50 Cent moisturizer for men, 50 Cent vitamin supplements, 50 Cent limited edition half-dollar coin with certificate of authenticity from the U.S. Mint.

And with today’s appearance on Rachael Ray, 50 Cent looks poised to move on the gourmet cooking/kitchenware market as well…   Continue »

Light beer, tomato juice, and clam extract?  Sounds like a party – a party that I would leave immediately and stand in the yard telling other guest arrivals how much it sucked inside.  But apparently the Budweiser (or Bud Light) and Clamato Chelada somehow got out approved by Anheuser-Busch tastemakers, because it’s out there for the buying.  (You know the folks at Clamato were not the limiting factor in green-lighting this partnership, because they had basically met every need that existed in the market for tomato juice with with a funny clam essence in it.  The demand for gross pasta sauces and Bloody Marys that taste worse than regular Bloody Marys remains pretty much static.)

Anyway, Chelada.  Some say it is bad, but just because an opinion is correct doesn’t mean you have to have it!  One especially vehement gent disagrees:   Continue »

If you’re anything like me, you go to Ben & Jerry’s, eat your ice cream, and then fill out all the comment cards with “NEEDS MORE VIAGRA AND LIQUOR” and put them in the “How Are We Doing?” box.  So you’ll be relieved to learn that someone out there was listening.  At a place in London called The Icecreamists, you can get this:

Entitled The Sex Pistol, this bespoke creation is served as an ice cream cocktail and it’s claimed to have similar effects to the libido-boosting drug Viagra. It contains ingredients such as ginkgo, biloba, arginine and guarana and is served with a shot of the highly intoxicating La Fee Absinthe, so it’s guaranteed to get your blood pumping. Customers are limited to one serving per person.

Servers also have to be especially careful about keeping orders straight.  ”Wait, chocolate with gummy worms – this isn’t what I ordered.  Oh well.  But if I got the chocolate with gummy worms ice cream, who got my sexual stimulant with hallucinogenic liquor ice cream?  Oh God, where’s Timmy?!”   Continue »

Kentucky Fried Chicken has always claimed that no mortal man may gaze upon the recipe of 11 secret herbs and spices that shimmer on the crispy skin of its chicken and lodge in the arteries of so many Americans like big fatty delicious fallen trees blocking a swiftly flowing river current.  But one man did not accept this.

He tried bribing the cooks.  He tried claiming that his wife had severe allergies and needed to know the ingredients in food.  The Colonel stood firm: some secrets must never be revealed.  Yet “avid cook and Kentucky Fried Chicken fan” (oxymoron alert there?) Ron Douglas claims to have deciphered the KFC code…   Continue »

The 4th (tomorrow!) is kind of a beer holiday, and I wanted to bring you a red-white-and-blue beer recipe today, but the issue is, that doesn’t exist.  Because you do have, independently, red beer and white beer, but of course strictly speaking both those beers are brown and… look, how about RWB sangria?  If you throw on some Springsteen, nobody’s going to question your allegiance to big beautiful America.  And also, novelty drinks are as American as Mel Gibson.  ATJ, recipes for a festively patriotic set of sangrias…   Continue »

Call me normal, but I’ve never really understood the appeal of edible underwear.  It’s like a sex thing where you eat them and thus gain access to the wearer’s crotch, right?  But with regular, inedible underwear, you can just pull them off.  And then you don’t have to eat underwear in the process.  And what do they even taste like?  Cherries?  Underwear?  Genitals?  Not for me, thanks.

Not, that is, unless they tasted like beef jerky.  Now I am listening to your case, edible underwear.  Action pics, ATJ: Continue »

Happy Cinco de Mayo to everyone out in internetland!  I hope you’ll be spending the day knee deep in margaritas.  However, if like most of us you have to work tomorrow you might want to keep activities to a minimum tonight, which is understandable, but doesn’t mean you have to skip out on the fun altogether! You can indulge on a few drinks at home with friends and save yourself the trouble of stumbling home, since you’ll already be there.

Check out our recipe for a delicious, classic margarita after the jump>>> Continue »