Let me preface this by saying that I’m Lady GaGa’s straightest fan, and I wish her nothing but the most complimentary bottles of red wine and the most glamorous inhalants eBay can buy.  But even we ridest and dyest of fans have our, “ugh ok Lady GaGa” moments.  The whole “I’m bisexual too!” thing was taxing.  I was pretty eh on the sparkler bra gag as well.  It felt like it had been done before, and I don’t care whether it Has Been Done or merely Should Have Been Done, Lady GaGa’s appeal is that she Does Otherwise Than That.

The new Fame Monster, leaked over the weekend a week in advance of its release (download it via here or here, the “DepositFiles” host site works, after you wait for the ad to time out: look I am all supportive of artists and their intellectual rights especially if those artists are Lady GaGa, but seriously one of this woman’s three-ring costumes could feed f*cking Azerbaijan, and Azerbaijan does not even have that low a standard of living), is larded with the fresh GaGa, but you get scoops of the trite GaGa as well.  The bad and the good, after the jump.   Continue »

…I figured you might want to know that d*cktowel.com is now live.  My roommate Dan who also works for the internet looked up the URL last night during the show.  There was no site (“Did you mean ‘d*cktrowel.com’?”), but he checked again today, and whoa, so many MS Paint penises!  Includes a bonus video from the Always Sunny dudes.  ”A girl with the towel on works too.”

As the site exhorts, “Join D*ck Towel Nation!”  It appears you can actually order as well.

Nothing about this is safe for work: d*cktowel.com.

Tonight at 10 (British o’clock) on Sky 1, professional chatter with the dead Derek Acorah is going to hit Michael Jackson up on his Heaven Nextel!  ”Michael Jackson: The Live Seance” will be held “on an island … in a secret location familiar to Jackson.”

“We have chosen genuine Michael Jackson fans and people who knew him throughout his life to take part in this event,” Howell added. “Derek will also have a personal item from Michael Jackson, and will invite everyone to sit quietly and channel positive thoughts … he can’t force Michael to appear, but he will try inviting his spirit by creating welcoming environment.”

How much do you bet Michael Jackson appears?  I bet a million dollars that he does!  ”The spirit seems to be making a punching motion.  Does anyone in the audience have a deceased friend or family member or favorite pop music performer who might find a “hit it” or “whack it” motion significant?  Perhaps something to do with a beloved pet or childhood toy or number-one-charting 1982 single?… OK, look, it’s f*cking Michael Jackson, and he says, uh, thanks for liking my songs and, uh, don’t forget to feed my chimpanzee.”

MTV via Idolator.

Welcome to your jam for the day: “My Boyfriend Is the President.”  Yo, if your boyfriend were the president, you would be singing about it exactly as enthusiastically as this girl.  My favorite part of this – and it’s hard to choose, no doubt – is the brief moment at 1:05 when Vladimir Putin’s face is shown on a Magic: The Gathering card (in Soviet Russia, +3 Orb of Silence Dissent is YOU!).  ”Your necromancer has been attacked by a Putin!”  The inclusion of the Pope and Hillary Clinton as potential boyfriend/presidents is also grand.  I know for a fact that the Pope and Hillary Clinton are neither boyfriends nor presidents.  And I further suspect that whoever made this could only name six countries in the world: “America,” “Russia,” “North Korea,” “Japan,” “USA,” and “Christianity.”

Via Videogum.

So.  Chris Brown’s interview on MTV and Rihanna’s interview on 20/20 will both air tomorrow (Friday), and this thing is looking to be a barnburner, folks.  A short clip of Rihanna’s segment with Diane Sawyer has been released, and it’s pretty damning.  A few of Rihanna’s claims:

• CORRECTION: You in the comments are right – it is not clear in the clip whether Rihanna is saying she herself was beat eight or nine times.  We’ll see tomorrow, I guess.
• Rihanna was embarrassed to confide in anyone about the violence because she “didn’t want people to think that’s the kind of person… I fell in love with that person.  It’s humiliating to say this happened. To accept that? It’s a traumatizing experience.”
• Rihanna left Chris because she felt an obligation as a role model to show girls that domestic abuse is never acceptable: “Any girl who is going through domestic violence: Don’t react off of love. F love. To come out of the situation and look at it third-person and for what it really is, you then make your decision. Because love is so blinding.”

How does Brown plan to address this?  And why Rihanna’s decision to drop these bombs now?  Well…   Continue »

Tom Morello, legendary Rage Against the Machine axe man, was once a young musician out there trying to get the paper as best he could.  And as it happens, they hand out quite a bit of paper at your friendly local Scores VIP Lounge.  Says he:

When I graduated from Harvard and moved to Hollywood, I was unemployable [ed: uh?]. I was literally starving, so I had to work menial labour and, at one point, I even worked as an exotic dancer. ‘Brick House’ [by The Commodores] was my jam! I did bachelorette parties and I’d go down to my boxer shorts. Would I go further? All I can say is thank god it was in the time before YouTube! You could make decent money doing that job – people do what they have to do.

A Harvard degree, guitar virtuosity, and an azz like a model?  ”Literally starving.”  Psh.  Tom Morello could make money on the moon.  More hilarity, ATJ.   Continue »

I like to eat apples, but I like to eat steaks as well.  So as someone who sees no problem with eating both apples and steaks, I cannot but condone an American’s right to dress up as an animal and dress up as the Insane Clown Posse.  Hence, Jugfurs.  From the YouTube description of a very necessary slideshow of Jugfurs, which is after the jump:

ANYWHO, yeah, of the million excess juggalos, and eight hundred thousand furries, (these are old figures BTW) there are those that have an intrest in both. And I can’t count them on 2 hands. There is a FA user group, and last time I checked, we top’d it out at over 200 jugfurs. Thats of the 14K that use the site.

Haha, love the caveat: census figures on Furries and Juggalos are AS YET incomplete, so do understand that my figures MAY DEVIATE SLIGHTLY FROM THAT DATA.  Video, plus more insight into the mind of a person whose ardent love of wearing trailer clown makeup is forced to compete with his love of fetishizing the birds and the beasts (way ill-starred, yo!)… after the jump. Continue »

Eddie Vedder and Pearl Jam give Halloween the full Devo treatment at a Philadelphia performance.  Classic, timeless music from great musical artists.  And Pearl Jam aren’t bad either!  Dumb as a Blog suggests a few other bands-on-bands Halloween ideas: E Street Band as KISS and Jonas Brothers as ZZ Top would be pretty wonderful, but I’d also like to see

• Matisyahu as Toby Keith
• Black Flag as the Bangles
• Buckethead as Deadmau5
• Aubrey O’Day as Slutty Johann Sebastian Bach
• Hanson as Manson

You may have seen this over the weekend, but if not, you should probably see this.  Although the Jude Law rendition was also quite fine in its own right.

You know, if Walken had done this on Leno or something, we’d sort of be at the point where, OK, Christopher Walken is caricaturing himself again and, boy, America just can’t get enough of the man speaking ridiculous words in his serious Christopher Walken voice.  But he avoids this (he always does, somehow) by performing it on an obscure BBC show instead.  And also because it is funny every time.

At sixteen stories, Royal Caribbean’s Oasis of the Seas is 50% bigger than the next-biggest cruise liner in the world.  ”A turf-covered chip and putt course, the world’s first open-air amphitheater, two surfing simulators, twenty-one swimming pools, and a zipwire.”  Also an indoor basketball court, a shopping mall, an “adults-only solarium,” and a carousel.  That’s what’s up.  This colossus can hold 6,000 passengers, runs 1,600 feet long, and cost $1.5 billion to construct.  We’re getting to the point when the question must be asked: at what size does it stop being “a ship” and start being “movable Jamaica”?

The Oasis left its shipyard in Finland today, on its way to Miami, its future port of departure.  Video of this giant seaborne wedding cake, plus the best amenity of all, after the jump.   Continue »