Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt

When you’re answering a job posting on Craigslist for “celebrity needed,” the requirements you have to meet are pretty lax, actually.  ”Some or no education,” “discreet at pre-noon drinking,” “have a face that magazine camera scientists can work with,” “can sign own name,” etc.

So should we really expect celebrities to come up with incisive, topical, and funny costumes for Halloween, considering the requisite celebrity skill set?  The answer is yes, because 1) some of these people have a good sense of humor or at least a good wardrobe guy, right? and 2) all of these people have so much damn money that they can waltz into a costume store and declare, “Hi, I’m Jamie Foxx, and for Halloween, I am going to be the recently unveiled experimental Ares IX Mars rocket.  The costume should be made entirely of regulation NASA parts, and I think it goes without saying that there should also be a motorized launchpad.  Please have it ready by 4.”  So really, there’s no excuse for these q-side Halloween get-ups.  Annotated gallery of the worst of celebrity Halloween (plus a few of the best), after the jump.   Continue »

So last week, this picture of a girl (above) in a Where the Wild Things Are shirt reached the lofty status of Most Agreed-Upon Girl Picture on the Internet.  With her faded-shirt corded-telephone appeal, the anonymous siren historically united the Keeley Hazell lad mag chest-painting set and the Spike Jonze OkCupid plaid pants set.  Plus, all other men and women who are attracted to women.  The pic was on The Chive, and a writer on that site just managed to track the gal down for a brief online talk sesh.  ”Jen Baby” is 22, lives in L.A., and can typically be found

“drinking Budweisers and spending all day listening to Johnny Cash and Stevie Ray Vaughn, hanging out with my rowdy friends, throwin back the tequila, attempting to skateboard or writing meaningful haikus. My life is simple, my life is great, im broke as f*ck….and I’ve never been happier.”

So we’re all like, that look, and she’s cool??  Oh pillow girlfriend, why can’t you shoot unpopular liquors and be interested in urban photography?  And look like Sarahsilvermanatalieportman.  More of her, after the jump. Continue »

If you know anything about Larry David, it’s that Larry David spends all of his time waiting forever for a restaurant table only to see his table given away to someone else who just walked in (OK: he spends some of his time protesting that he has to sign a “Get Well Soon” card for someone he doesn’t even like).  So naturally, when Larry David accidentally wandered onto the set of Hannah Montana and tried to get a table at the nicest restaurant in town, someone else walked in got served instead (Miley, obv).

Curb Your Enthusiasm on Hannah Montana.  Why, it makes about as much sense as Lindsay Lohan being hired as the head designer at a couture fashion label, or Mahmoud Ahmadinejad sitting around the Hanukkah tree spinning the dreidel and eating latkes.  Or David Letterman playing 1998 Oval Office with all his interns.  What is it with this week?  It’s like the entire world is In Soviet Russia.  It’s like Ashton Kutcher popped out from behind your fridge and yelled, “Everything you understood to be the reality of existence in global society JUST GOT PUNK’D.”

He’s just bein’ Larry, after the jump.   Continue »

This ad doesn’t make any sense.  ”Come as you are” implies that a McDonald’s patron should feel free to just be himself at McDonald’s and feel comfortable “as he is,” yet Darth Vader was actually very conflicted about his identity and allegiances.  Only at the end of Return of the Jedi, one may argue, is Vader, unmasked, ever allowed to “come as he is.”  And that scene takes place on the Death Star, not in a McDonald’s.  So forgive me, McDonald’s, if this ad seems far-fetched.

It also doesn’t make sense in the traditional way of no sense being made in the ad.  And for that reason, I kind of like it.  The only possible scenario here is that this is the aftermath of a Halloween party, and the guy who made the elaborate Darth Vader costume got zero @ss, while the guy who put no effort into his costume and then took his date to McDonald’s is on his way to ball-pit third base.  It can be read as an important lesson about trying, and why you shouldn’t.

Source: Copyranter.

Here is a list of things that aren’t American: 1) being a weirdo.

I kid of course – that isn’t a list.  It’s only one thing.  Yet no one knows how to get weird like the Japanese, and presumably that is why they have popularized the “bagelhead” phenomenon.  Here’s how it works: you take your head.  Then you go over to a body modification store.  Then you put needles into your face.  The needles will dispense a formula of saline into said face, possibly in an unusual pattern.  Finally, you will have a tumor-like growth.  On your face.  You will be considered cool.

“Things like suspensions are really quick. But saline infusion is a gradual process and you become a freak progressively. That’s the joy of it,” he explains. “You can enjoy watching it by having a few drinks and gradually seeing a transformation, but if you’re looking all the time, you can’t see the difference. If you meander off and come back, it’s a real surprise.”

A REAL BAD SURPRISE.  More pictures of gross-looking people, ATJ: Continue »

One of the worst things that can happen to a chick is to discover that her boyfriend was/is into getting his whole plugged by another dude. Not because there’s anything wrong with homosexuality, so much as the realization that the entire relationship (sexual, or not) has been a facade. And this is why I search the computer’s of boys I date and see what kind of porn they are secretly into. Some call that being a b!tch, I call it survival of the fittest!

Continue »

Can you guess which internationally famous coverboy crunched this Ferrari, THAT ISN’T EVEN HIS!

Keep reading after the jump to find out>>> Continue »

In the end, it all balls down to confidence. Male, female. Poor, rich. A greater majority of the time, it is confidence that defines one’s success. It explains why Paris Hilton is famous. And why Ron Jeremy gets laid. Kinda.

But the thing is, sometimes confidence can create delusional people. Like this chick right here. I don’t care how hot you are or not, there’s no need for this. Add to that the fact that women like her, that go overboard with the plastic surgery, end up looking like trannies most of the time. 

Find out whose junk this belongs to in 3….2….1…. Continue »

This older female actress is hardly fug, but if you ask me, there’s nothing sexy about this shot. Her husband, on the other hand, seemed to have gotten a hard-on when he saw this sight, having Twittered over the weekend, “watching my wife steam my suit while wearing a bikini. I love God!”

Alright, that’s not supposed to be granny panties, but instead bikini bottoms. But really, it’s the same thing. One you wear in water, the other you don’t.

Discover who’s bikini backside this is in 3….2….1…. Continue »

Is it wrong that I’m turned on right now? (Answer: No) Continue »