Ah, the British.  Give Britain’s millions of wayward youths (chavs, wankers, you know the ones) credit for doing their darnedest to erase the international Anglo image of expensive hats, peerages, and porcelain clocks.  In ten years, when we think “U.K.” it’ll be casual sex, knife fights, and reckless drinking.  This story more or less summarizes the story of Future Britain: Miss England, Rachel Christie, attacked Miss Manchester, Sara Beverley Jones, in the wee hours at a nightclub.

Miss England has relinquished her crown.  The fight was over a man.  His name is “Tornado,” and he is the British equivalent of an American Gladiator.  More details, ATJ: Continue »

At one point or another we’ve all asked ourselves, “Which Kardashian would I fight?”  While the answer is obviously “Bruce Jenner,” you can now take them all on, provided you have the cash.

TKO Boxing presents the “Kardashian Charity Knock Out“. This is your chance to step into the ring and duke it out with your favorite Keeping up With The Kardashians cast member for a good cause. Kim, Khloe, Bruce, Rob, and Scott are looking for you to raise money for their favorite charity. Winners will box the Kardashians cast at the Commerce Casino on November 3rd for a televised taping of “Keeping Up with The Kardashians”.

No Kourtney?  Look you may be “pregnant” (whatever that is), but this is for charity, so let’s not be selfish for a change. Specifically, it’s for the Dream Foundation, the “largest national wish granting organization for adults battling life-threatening illness.”  Don’t you want those adults’ wishes to come true, Kourtney Kardashian?   Continue »

Just thought you should know that America’s favorite office comedy/romance is causing prison riots.  This dispatch, from Sheboygan, Wisc:

The criminal complaint filed this week says two inmates were watching [The Office] last week when 18-year-old Shacoya S. Crawley told them she wanted to watch something else.

The complaint said the inmates refused to give her the remote, so she pulled the hair of a 33-year-old woman and hit her in the face.

Spitting image of the time when Dwight and Andy decided to hold a duel over who should get to be with Angela, and… I mean, forget it.

Take it away, Prison Mike!  ”You my friend, would be the belle of the ball.  Don’t drop the soap!”  After the jump.   Continue »

In Russia, there is a Candid Camera-type show called Your Expensive Car Is Getting Paint on It.  The premise is simple, yet classic: a painter (who is actually an actor) gets paint all over someone’s expensive car, but the owner of the car is not in on the joke.  Until the painter points at the hidden camera and deploys the show’s beloved catchphrase, “Smile… your expensive car is getting paint on it!”  The unwitting prank victim knows he’s been had!

But in one recent episode, the car owner totally did not get the joke.  Even after hearing the catchphrase, he still didn’t understand that his expensive car was being vandalized for TV, so it was OK.  And he showed his displeasure in the time-honored Russian way: with his fists.   Continue »

British socialite Clare Irby, 30, an heiress in the Guinness family, was arrested on charges of turning the first class cabin on a recent lengthy flight into a Sid Vicious hotel room adventure: crushing bottles of wine and mile-high-clubbing it in the seats while her naked toddler ran loose in the cabin.

“They were both loud, drinking. One passenger became concerned for the defendant’s son, who was two or three years old who at one stage was running around the aircraft naked.”

It’s like Trainspotting, on a plane (Planespotting?) – Lindsay Lohan can be offered the main role and turn it down for incomprehensible reasons, Christian Bale can play the paramour, and David Carlyle can more or less reprise his original role, except this time he’s a sociopathic air marshall who kicks whiny passengers out of the emergency exits.  Oh, another detail: the guy Irby was groping was onboard with his girlfriend, asleep in another seat.  She woke up, though… Continue »

Was I ever in a gang?  Not exactly, no.  I was in a college one time for a few years, but it’s really not quite the same thing, and is, in fact, a completely different thing.  So I don’t really know what it’s like to be in a gang.  I’ll tell you what it’s not like, though.  It’s not like hanging out with a pair of statuesque nineteen-year-old twin sisters as they lead a classy coven of snappily-dressed femmes fatales on a series of ultra-chic drug binges and fabulous felony assaults.  That only happens in the movies (Sorority Row in theaters now!), right?  Wrong.  It also happens in Australia.

Courtney and Amelia Prentice were sentenced to 18 months’ probation after their gang of lady-muggers beat up some unfortunate tourists…   Continue »

Ahhh this is so LOLsy.  Aubrey O’Day was on The Sean Hannity Show last night.  Why?  For what reason?  I have no idea.  The FOX people were probably like, OMG this broad was in Playboy and is a celebrity and a liberal, obviously she is so dumb and stupid and will just spout off dumb, stupid things.  Our viewership will sit at home and watch her and just get so piping mad that Aubrey O’Day is able to exist and say and do things without going to jail that they’ll probably throw their beers at their TV screen/child.

The thing, though, is that Aubrey O’Day is not dumb.  Is she smart?  I don’t know.  But she seems to have traveled places and cared about things and thought about issues, which is probably more than most b-side celebrities can say.

Anyway, two clips from the show.  In one, she spars with the conservatives about a U.N. children’s sexual health initiative on masturbation.  In the other, she violates The First Rule About Talking About Hitler (Is You Can’t Say Anything Good About Hitler).   Continue »

Hopefully we’ll get a girlfight out of this anyway: Tori Amos took a few swipes at Lady GaGa in The Sun today.  Probably her GaGa remarks constituted 90 seconds of her interview with the paper, but obviously the paper made “Lady GaGa Won’t Be Around for Long” the headline of their Tori Amos interview (hilarious) because Lady GaGa is major right now, whereas Google is all, “No search results for ‘Tori Amos.’  Did you mean ‘Norah Jones’?”

Anyway, with Lady GaGa being the headline of Tori Amos’s own interview, the Lady probably needn’t even respond, but hopefully she’ll dance back.  Especially because Tori Amos’s insults make zero sense.  After the jump.   Continue »

This Saturday (tomorrow) at 10:30 pm ET Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos will fight Gina “Conviction” Carano, courtesy of Showtime and Strikeforce.  Scheduled for five five-minute rounds (as opposed to the customary three three-minute rounds), this will be the world’s first female Mixed Martial Arts championship bout.  Yes, the question no one asked, “Who is the world’s best female mixed-martial artist?” will finally be answered. The pre-fight hype machine has been working in full gear for the last month or so, not so much because it’s an interesting matchup between two elite warriors but more so because Gina is hot and everyone likes a good chick fight.

Both feisty females have been doing extensive PR rounds (including, but not limited to, choking out reporters), and more recently they have each posted their daily training regiments. Training videos, gambling odds and my personal fight predictions all after one small jump.   Continue »

You don’t watch NYC Prep right?  Ha, me neither.  Like I can even watch those shows.  Is it supposed to be “ironic” or something?  More like “gay.”

But I mean.  If you did watch it, or did want to watch it.  Tonight is the finale on Bravo at 9PM (8 central).  Do you guys think Jessie is the most annoying?  I used to think so, but now I’m not sure.  Also, PC.  I wanted to think he was just pretending to be “like that.”  But now I’m afraid he’s actually like that.  Because when he didn’t invite Jessie who is hello his best friend?  To the party?  That grated me the wrong way, PC.  I thought you should have acted more maturely in that circumstance.  In this episode, you will probably want to redeem yourself, to me.

Here’s how it works with Bravo.  Bravo channel is like the girl version of A&E channel, however, every man is allowed to like two Bravo shows. Millionaire Matchmaker – that is a given.  I chose NYC Prep for my second.  Sorry, Miami Social.  What will happen in the finale?  Spoilers from my mind, after the jump.   Continue »