At one point or another we’ve all asked ourselves, “Which Kardashian would I fight?”  While the answer is obviously “Bruce Jenner,” you can now take them all on, provided you have the cash.

TKO Boxing presents the “Kardashian Charity Knock Out“. This is your chance to step into the ring and duke it out with your favorite Keeping up With The Kardashians cast member for a good cause. Kim, Khloe, Bruce, Rob, and Scott are looking for you to raise money for their favorite charity. Winners will box the Kardashians cast at the Commerce Casino on November 3rd for a televised taping of “Keeping Up with The Kardashians”.

No Kourtney?  Look you may be “pregnant” (whatever that is), but this is for charity, so let’s not be selfish for a change. Specifically, it’s for the Dream Foundation, the “largest national wish granting organization for adults battling life-threatening illness.”  Don’t you want those adults’ wishes to come true, Kourtney Kardashian?   Continue »

Oh sh*t.  What time is it?  4:47.  SH*T.  FListed.  Totally forgot to do FListed today.  Completely blanked.

No, I was pretending just then.  Actually, I was on a jet airplane all day.  Ain’t no FListed on a jet airplane, is there now?!  Although I kind of thought that was where the internet happened, way up 35,000 feet in the sky, all the kittens and Jon Gosselins and DVDAs dancing together up amongst the clouds.  Like, come one, come all: see the internet as it was meant to be seen – in the sky.  But turns out that if you try to use your mobile phones and other electronic devices during takeoff or landing, the invisible computer lasers inside them actually do get tangled inside the plane engines, and the airplane crashes.  Which is why I’m down here now!

Thankfully, Kim Kardashian posed in FHM South Africa today, to help pick up slack in terms of things I can hurriedly and sloppily write about.  Thanks, Kim K!  After the jump.   Continue »

One Day at a Time sitcom star and narcotics aficionado Mackenzie Phillips is releasing a “tell-all” memoir titled High on Arrival.  It promises to be a heartwarming story about addiction, depravity, despair, self-loathing, rock-bottom-hitting, and, uh, redemption!  Maybe.  But mostly about incest: People has the revelation that Phillips had a long, vaguely consensual sex relationship with her father, singer John Phillips of the Mamas and the Papas…   Continue »

Fun new activity for tourists in Arizona – “The Polygamy Experience: A Guided Tour of Colorado City.”  The four hour tour lets visitors get a close-up look at a community where the favorite pastime is “marriage” and the favorite number of wives per man is “as many as possible.”

The four-hour tour includes chats with the polygamists, who are members of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, a sect of rogue Mormons who still practice wife-collecting (aside: give them credit for actually putting the word “fundamentalist” in the title of their religious organization.  Might as well own it!).  The main Mormon church is not particularly happy with this new tourism initiative…   Continue »

John Edwards is basically the Jon Gosselin of politics.  He wears the figurative Ed Hardy shirts.  He figuratively plans the figurative reality television show with figurative Michael Lohan and figurative Kevin Federline.  We know all this.  But that doesn’t mean we want to stop reading about it!  It is now being alleged that the baby he claimed not to father with mistress Rielle Hunter is probably his.  Not a huge surprise there.

Any acknowledgment of paternity would have ramifications for Mr. Edwards, who could suffer a further blow to his credibility but could also be praised for belatedly accepting responsibility.

This from the New York Times. Seriously, New York Times?  It does not seem likely that John Edwards will be praised!  In any capacity, for anything he ever does, for the rest of his life.  Especially with some of the really, really dirty details coming out now, after the jump… Continue »

TLC’s child beauty pageant reality show Toddlers and Tiaras really brings out the worst in its characters, which is pretty easy, since all the parents there auditioned to put their toddlers on a show about putting their toddlers on shows where the winner is the 3-year-old who can look and act the most like Gwen Stefani.

So it makes perfect sense that one of the pageanteers has the name “Sparkal Queenz” on her birth certificate.  PSA to new parents and aspiring parents who should maybe consider other, nonparental aspirations: Sparkal Queenz is not a name for a human child.  It is a name for a toothpaste, at best.  A toothpaste for dolls.  There should be a person at the Dept. of Heath office who vets all newborn names before he gives out birth certificates: “Sparkal Queenz?  Sir, that is a fine name for America’s Best Dance Crew, but it’s my job to remind you that you are, in fact, naming a human being who will be living in normal society for 76 years.”

Sparkal Queenz performs Rihanna, after the jump.   Continue »

I’m sad that Labor Day is over too, but the upside is that when you have a job, you can labor every day like it’s Labor Day!  Yeah, I never quite got how the whole labor/not labor dynamic was supposed to make sense there, but that’s really more stand-up territory.  Hopefully you made many crazy times during the weekend (do share in the comments) – I for my part finally got acquainted with Four Loko and the myriad of unexpected situations that can happen to you when you drink Four Loko.

Then, during the cooldown portion of the weekend, I found the Baby Name Wizard, which is extremely, extremely nifty.  It tracks the popularity of every name in the U.S. from 1880 onward, state by state, so you can see whether your name is hot or not (maybe next year, Reginald!).  Number one names for boys and girls in 2008?  Are…   Continue »

You thought guidos were over.  They definitely had a huge internet thing going in that 2006-07 era.  You gave them that.  ”F*ckin’ skanks!  Jager bombs!”  Remember that?  But our national priorities change, sometimes drastically, you reasoned.  There is a recession.  Barack Obama doesn’t care about orange people.  (I mean “guido” here in the “My New Haircut” sense rather than the limiting, strictly Italian sense.  If you somehow missed the whole guido craze.)

But they’ve been quietly regrouping.  Breeding and multiplying behind closed doors, out of the public eye, in filthy public beach bathrooms and filthy nightclub bathrooms and other various filthy places where people may go to the bathroom around New Jersey.  They’ve traded spray tan for bronzer and Jager for Patron, allowing them to walk amongst us unseen.  They bide their time.  But they’re coming for you.  They’re coming up to Boston, and they’re going to beat up your f*cking roommate and sleep in his f*cking bed.  INCLUDING YOU, NICK!  Witness the new face of Guidom, plus a look back at the best videos of the guidos that were, after the jump.   Continue »

What a guy – actor Ryan O’Neal, whose longtime partner Farrah Fawcett died in June, tried to pick up his own daughter by accident at Fawcett’s funeral.

We have some f*cked up tabloid celebrities these days, but they just don’t make ‘em like they used to.  Details of the encounter, plus bonus anecdote about the time O’Neal tried to shoot his son (he’s not so hot at being a father), after the jump…   Continue »

Latoya Jackson, the sanest Jackson sibling is crying foul play over deceased brother Michael’s untimely death.  This might not come as a surprise, especially when you figure that she’s the least stable of the Jackson clan.  She’s turning to new sources telling them that the “shadowy figures” in her brother’s life are responsible for his death.  Let’s hope she’s in touch with reality enough to not be talking about ghosts.

Keep reading to hear the rest of her allegations>>> Continue »