Fabulous Teenage Burglars Steal Millions From Ten Celebrity Homes

Their list of victims reads like a list of, uh, rich people in Hollywood: Lohan.  Hilton.  Fox.  Tisdale.  Bilson.  Patridge.  Bloom (Orlando, not Harold).  They also got Brian Austin Green.  Using information from celebrity gossip sites, a gang of ultra-chic teenage burglars terrorized Tinseltown for almost a year, nipping $2 million in jewelry from Paris Hilton alone.  Five 18-year-olds who broke into the houses of 10 celebrities, holy crap. SADLY, they have been brought to justice.

“They thought it was fun, kind of an adrenaline rush,” Los Angeles police officer Brett Goodkin said. “They would go in and steal the celebrity’s clothes and possessions, things they could never afford on their own.”

As Robin something (Robin Thicke?  I think it was Robin Thicke) used to say, “Steal from the rich and give to yourself.”  One of the accused atoned, ”I just learned my lesson that I need to make some better friends and some better decisions as far as my friends go.”  WRONG.  You already have the best friends possible who make the coolest decisions possible.  I love this story.  These kids are now trying to slough off responsibility for the crimes, but they should be on the rooftops, shouting YOU BET I STOLE $2 MILLION BECAUSE AUDRINA PATRIDGE COULD NOT FIGURE OUT HOW TO SAFEGUARD HER MANSION FROM A BAND OF WAYWARD CHILDREN.  But how will the burglars be charged?  

Well, it looks like the authorities are shooting for felony burglary and firearms charges, but I think a more appropriate punishment would be to give them all a TV show, a Ferrari, and a special motion from Congress to waive the national drinking age specifically for them.

The show would be a low-budget reality series called Breaking Into Idiot Celebrities’ Houses, with your host, Winona Ryder.  A camera crew follows the group of bright-eyed Hollywood hopefuls as they climb through open first-floor windows of celebrity homes and make off with wads of jewelry as Lindsay Lohan slumbers peacefully on the bathroom floor.

Source: AP.