It’s Not Cheating on Your Husband, It’s SLEEP-Cheating on Your Husband

Sleepwalking is awesome.  You can do whatever you want when you’re sleepwalking!  It’s like diplomatic immunity or license to kill or License To Kill starring Timothy Dalton.  It is that awesome.  ”Your honor, my client was not driving while intoxicated.  He was sleep-driving while intoxicated.  Why else would the police have found him asleep at the wheel of his moving vehicle with a bottle of liquor in one hand?  Connect the dots, IDIOT!”  ”You are so right.  My verdict is have a terrific day and I hereby sentence everyone to ice cream and smiles!”

Sleep medicine experts have successfully treated a rare case of a woman having sex with strangers while sleepwalking.

The behaviour had disrupted the lives of the woman and her partner. At night while asleep, the middle-aged sleepwalker – who lives in Australia and cannot be identified for reasons of confidentiality [ed: more like reasons of real estate prices would go way up in that neighborhood] - left her house and had sexual intercourse with strangers. The behaviour continued for several months and the woman had no memory of her nocturnal activities.

I bet.  How did they figure out she was doing this?  The usual way…  

Circumstantial evidence, such as condoms found scattered around the house, alerted the couple to the problem. On one occasion, her partner awoke to find her missing, went searching for her and found her engaged in the sex act.

That’s my gal, always sleep-f*cking the neighbors!  She’s a piece of work but I love her for it!  That is almost as crazy as this:

In 1987, Ken Parks, drove 23 kilometres from his home in Pickering, Ontario, to his in-laws house, where he strangled his father-in-law unconscious, and stabbed his mother-in-law to death. He was acquitted of murder because he was sleepwalking at the time.

Well we can’t very well prosecute this!  I mean, we all say crazy stuff and/or strangle and stab our in-laws to death in our sleep.  Glass houses and stones, people.  You get a verdict of NOT GUILTY and a Tylenol PM, you crazy guy, you.

Source: New Scientist via Blog of Hilarity.