Own the Sarah Palin XBox, An American Treasure

October 5th, 2009

By: Ben

Own a genuine piece of real American history! Brace yourselves, collectors of significant Americana: the Sarah Palin XBox is up for auction. Seller Dave Morrill (N.B: of Canada) describes the transcendent July moment of its creation at the governor’s picnic:

When I was in front of Sarah Palin, I told her that I had traveled three days to see her and asked her to sign my Xbox360. She said it was the most extravagant thing she had ever been asked to sign. I shook her hand, removed myself from the crowd, and then I packed up my Xbox360 and headed home. It was one of the greatest thrills of my life to have watched Sarah Palin on CNN, SNL, Youtube, and then to see her right in front of me.

If you want to commemorate the year Sarah Palin lost her bid for the vice presidency and then signed some clown’s videogame console at a picnic to celebrate how she wouldn’t have to be governor any more, the bidding is open. And the seller is only asking for…

$1.1 million! (Plus $15.00 flat rate for shipping.) To put in perspective the extraordinary value of this one-of-a-kind artifact, a copy of the Thirteenth Amendment, which abolished slavery in the Union and thus the United States, signed by Abraham Lincoln and many prominent members of Congress, fetched $721,000 at auction in 2002. And one of the 17 original Magna Cartas was bought by Ross Perot for $1.5 million. Granted, it was the ’80s, but also granted: the Magna Carta is 700 years old and one of the foundational documents of modern democracy.

2023’s Mission Impossible 8, starring Suri Cruise and Pilot Inspektor Lee, just found its plot. ”Mr. President, can you step out for a moment? It’s an emergency [whispers something very serious in president's ear].” ”What do you mean, it’s gone? The Sarah Palin XBox Vault is the most secure valuables protection chamber tax money can buy! And you’re telling me the swinging laser blades just malfunctioned like it’s some f*cking Bank of America?”

Bidding is open for five more days. Act now, before someone else bids on it!