Which Country Has the World’s Worst Lovers?

In one of the most audaciously fluffy pieces of fluff I’ve seen in a respected newspaper, The Telegraph has blown the lid off a study that major world governments don’t want you to hear about:

The poll, carried out by global research site www.OnePoll.com, asked women from 20 countries to rate nations on their ability in bed and give reasons for their answers.

Well, American men came in a number five on the list of shame because we are “too dominating” in bed (file that one under “Sorry I Party”), but we certainly could have done worse in figuring out woman and sex.  Full list of the best and worst countries, after the jump, with the reasons for each ranking included.  It’s like a party and all your favorite national stereotypes are invited!  

WORLD’S WORST LOVERS:

1. Germany (too smelly) [Ed: Nobody told this guy.]

2. England (too lazy)

3. Sweden (too quick)

4. Holland (too dominating)

5. America (too rough)

6. Greece (too lovey-dovey)

7. Wales (too selfish)

8. Scotland (too loud) [Ed: Let that visual sink in.]

9. Turkey (too sweaty)

10. Russia (too hairy)

WORLD’S BEST LOVERS

1. Spain

2. Brazil

3. Italy

4. France

5. Ireland

6. South Africa

7. Australia

8. New Zealand

9. Denmark

10. Canada

I don’t know how Ireland snuck into the top list.  Reason listed: probably something like “refreshingly OK, after the miserable letdown of every other northern European country.”  Anyway, they definitely left a number of cherished stereotypes off the list: Poland, for instance (“too stupid to screw in the lightbulb”), and Japan (“too everything that is weird and bad about the internet”).

Source: The Telegraph via Nerve.