So Sorry Everyone, Kate Gosselin Won’t Be Doing Playboy

Kate Gosselin is not doing Playboy.  That is a bummer for everyone.  That is bummer.com.  It is en.wikipedia.org/wiki/bummer.  The bummer to end the summer.

The octomom is said to have received a $400,000 offer from Hef to take it all off for Playboy, but she doesn’t plan to reveal her lady bits in the nudie mag.

“Hugh sent her a letter, but Kate was totally mortified and threw it away!” a source told Star Magazine. “She didn’t think it was appropriate because of the children.”

It’s true.  The children will not want to see that.  Did you know?  80% of the Playboy readership is the children, specifically the children who steal the old Playboy magazines out of the attic that Dad boxed up fifteen years ago (marriage!).  In fifteen years, the children would be meeting in their treehouse, sharing their looted fifteen-year-old Playboys and it would be Donny’s turn, and Donny would stammer, well I… I got the Kate Gosselin issue.  Really, Donny?  The Kate Gosselin issue?  What are we supposed to do with this?  Thanks for being a team player, Donny.  Here, have this one-third of a cigarette for your efforts.

Bonus ridiculous quote o’ the day from Jon Gosselin, ATJ:

“I took a lot of abuse from her. I was put down,” Jon, 32, said.

“She’ll call me like, almost like a lame fish,” he claimed. “Like I wasn’t going anywhere. “Well, excuse me, I’m taking care of the kids. She’s on book tours, she’s doing all these things. You know, she’s gone a week. You know, comes back. Packs up and leaves again. I’m standing there like, ‘Oh, OK. Your Mom’s gone again.’”

A lame fish, right.  You know: a lame fish.  Like a lame duck.  Except that fish don’t have limbs.  But I mean, if the lame fish fits, wear it.  I think it fits, in this case.

Source: NYDN.