A Boner Is the Perfect Accessory for Your Reality TV Talent Show Appearance

August 31st, 2009

By: Ben

Nobody ever wins on American Idol or Americans Having Talent or any of those shows. Like, technically one person or small group (or troupe) of people wins each time, but that’s negligible. Yet there are other ways to win, besides just by being talented or American. For instance, this guy won at Singing On A Talent Show With A Boner In His Pants. He won the main prize for that.

If you think about it, this is the best way to approach any nervewracking, high-pressure situation in life, because you get to share your discomfort with everyone else in the room. Like, “Are you all right, sir? Do you need a vomit bag?” ”Oh, I’ll be ok, I just have a terrible fear of flying… and a boner.” Or you’re standing next to your attorney at the defense table, awaiting the verdict: “They jury finds the defendant boner… I mean, guilty.” Or, “Actually Regis, I have no idea. I’d like to bone a friend. Get Jessica on the line. What up, girl.”

So kudos to this guy performing on Britain’s X Factor (basically Britain Idol) in front of a huge crowd in his excited state. Because it’s like, hey Simon Cowell and other mean judges, maybe I don’t have singing talent, but I do have this boner. It’s funny. They make funny jokes.