Now They Are Smuggling the Cocaine in Live Turkeys

I know we’ve had the Summer of Condoms all up in here but there also seems to be a lot going on with cocaine these days.  First the cocaine people tried to smuggle the drug in dead sharks.  Now they’ve sewed it up into live turkeys.

They then noticed that the two turkeys were bloated.

“Lifting up the feathers of the bird, in the chest area, police detected a handmade seam,” he said.

This being Peru we’re talking about, we can already guess what was inside the turkeys.  The real shocker is how much yay they managed to get in there…  

A vet extracted 11 oval-shaped plastic capsules containing 1.9 kilograms (4.2 pounds) of cocaine from one turkey.

A further 17 capsules with 2.9 kilograms (6.4 pounds) were recovered from the other, he said.

Seems like a lot of effort to get the coke out of the turkeys and keep them alive.  Won’t they just be eaten soon anyway?  They could have just made a real happy Thanksgiving for someone, the way the pilgrims did when they introduced the Native Americans to cocaine in 1492 or whatever.  They were like, please accept this cocaine as a token of our friendship and goodwill.  It is basically the purest sh*t you can get.

Or alternatively, they could have done like a TurDuckocaine, which is a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey with cocaine inside it.  Delicious.

Source: SkyNews via Neatorama.