How Did You Celebrate National Go Topless Day?

Didn’t you hear?  Yesterday was National Go Topless Day!  There were parties and parades and everyone did a shirts-off scene!  Oh, you missed it?  Sucks, dude.  Tons of women went topless in Central Park to celebrate or possibly protest:

New York is the only state in the country where women can be topless legally, after a 1992 ruling in the state’s highest court. That means any woman can walk around the city at any time with no shirt on.

So in theory, New Yorkers could have Topless Day every day!  Why don’t they?  I put that question to you, women.  They Daily News did a good job of interviewing onlookers about what they were feeling while watching the topless march:  

“We’re all here for the same reason – to allow women to be free in the park like men,” organizer Sylvie Chabot, 54, of Montreal, told the crowd at a midday rally at Columbus Circle.

Except that they already are!  Why are you protesting, Sylvie Chabot?  Women are free.  Be free, women!  Let’s get you out of those clothes and into some freedom.  (Take your shirt off.)  Seriously, though, the phrase “legally be topless” sounds weird in the brain.  Like I’m pretty glad the government doesn’t get to tell me where I do or don’t have to wear a shirt.  Kind of f*cked up, if you think about it using such things as sense and perception.  I can’t really come up with any reason why women shouldn’t be allowed to go topless in public places like men can.  Toplessness for everyone!  We can all get behind this, right?  Get at your senator.  Others disagreed though:

“This is extreme liberalism and why America’s in decline,” shouted one woman, who said she was a doctor but declined to give her name. “It’s degrading to women to tell them to expose their breasts publicly.”

Haha, a doctor?  Maybe a doctor of ringing up Popov at a liquor store checkout.  Maybe she is that kind of doctor.  I mean totally chill out, woman.  I think you are misinterpreting the law, because it does not say, “All women are henceforth mandated to be topless all the time.  Now turn around so I can see how that back end looks on you.  Damn.”  There is no such law, doctor.

Source: NYDN, which is a paper of record that did a very admirable job of trying to find a picture with no nipples in it for this article.  Alas, they failed.  Click the source to play Spot the Nipple!