The Top 5 Megan Fox Disses

One thing about Megan Fox that continues to hold everyone’s attention is the weird cognitive dissonance between the way she looks and the things she says.  Because she does not look like a real person: when she opens her mouth, you expect to hear the sound of expensive models partying on a yacht, bongo drums, tanning lotion rubs, ice melting in the glass, pillow fights, cocaine zips, and words like “passssion” and “dessssire” whispered by a techno-music voice in the back of your ear.

But instead, she sounds like any other 23-year-old girl, and that includes when she’s laying a diss down on one of her fellow Hollywooders.  Here are her five best blow-offs, starting with

5) Michael Bay…  

Bay supposedly cast Megan Fox in Transformers only after making her wash his Ferrari for him in a skimpy get-up.  But once she got some of the cards to hold, she flipped the tables a bit, telling EW that ”unless you’re a seasoned veteran, working with Michael Bay is not about an acting experience” and “I can’t s— on this movie because it did give me a career and open all these doors for me. But I don’t want to blow smoke up people’s ass. People are well aware that this is not a movie about acting.”  Bay responded in turn that Fox still “had a lot of growing up to do,” but since he is a theoretically grown man fantasizing about cheerleader carwashes and fighting toy robots, we’re going to give the win to Megan here.

4) Scarlett Johansson:  ”I don’t want to have to be like a Scarlett Johansson – who I have nothing against, but I don’t want to have to go on talk shows and pull out every single SAT word I’ve ever learned to prove, like, ‘Take me seriously, I am intelligent, I can speak.’ I don’t want to have to do that. I resent having to prove that I’m not a retard – but I do. And part of it is my own fault.”

She later clarified: “That was taken out of context. It made it sound like I was suggesting she’s pretentious. She’s clearly book-smart and she allows people to see that every time she opens her mouth. And I was suggesting that for me to do that — people would receive it as though I was being pretentious. Not that she was! I would never talk s— about her.”  Megan Fox has to clarify a lot of thing she says because of her off-the-cuff habits of speech.  But this one is hilarious because it boils down to, “I would never badmouth Scarlett Johansson, but she’s obviously pretentious, let’s call a spade a spade.”

3) Zac Ephron and Robert Pattinson: She famously said of High School Musical, “High School Musical is about this group of boys who are all being molested by the basketball coach, who is Zac Efron’s dad. It’s about them struggling to cope with this molestation. And they have these little girlfriends, who are their beards.”

And later gave a f*ck-you compliment to Ephron and Robert Pattinson, after there had been rumors that the latter had rejected her.

He’s outrageously attractive, he’s like a very pretty man [note: no man ever takes this as a compliment],” she told MTV UK recently. “I’ve never been in a room with him, though, so those rumors aren’t true. … Although, you know every other girl on the planet wishes that it was, but I didn’t have the opportunity so.”

“Robert Pattinson and Zac (Efron)— they’re just too pretty with the big hair and the suits. And Rob is, what, 22? Zac is 21? That’s a joke. Boys in their twenties are a waste of time,” Fox said.

2) This kid.

1) Seth Rogen.  This one has a video to go along with it.  Rogen tells the story to Jimmy Kimmel at about 2:45.  It’s pretty brutal but very funny.