How Does Barack Obama’s MLB First Pitch Compare to George Bush’s?

Sporty leader of the free world Barack Obama threw out the first pitch at last night’s Major League Baseball All-Star Game.  Though he has been known to lay it down out on the basketball court, his pitch could’ve used a little lift.  But he sailed it to the plate, where Albert Pujols, the last American baseball player possibly not on steroids, caught it.

But scandal!  Did he bounce it?  Did Pujols enhance the performance of Obama’s pitch by scooping it short of the plate?  Video evidence says…  

“It was in the air the whole way,” Pujols said, denying that he saved Obama from bouncing the pitch. “I scooted up a little bit, but I think I was going to catch it no matter what. It was a great pitch. I was more nervous to drop the ball, believe me. I wasn’t worried about him bouncing the ball.”

Meanwhile, all the big baseball men were scared of the president, wimpy throw and all:

“My idea, when I saw him, was to say, ‘What’s up?’ to him,” Ichiro said through the Mariners team interpreter. “But I got nervous. You know, he has that kind of aura about him. So I got nervous and I didn’t say that to him. I was a little disappointed about that.”

But Obama still gave him an autographed baseball, and Ichiro will polish and treasure that baseball every day until his foolhardy child steals it from the trophy rack, unaware of its value, and the neighborhood kids hit it over a fence into a yard with a real mean dog in it.  And the kid will tell the other kids, oh bummer, some lady named “Barack Obama” gave that to my dad as a present, and they will say WHAT?  The Great Obambino?  The Sultan of America??

But then the owner of the mean dog will turn out to be retired Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar and he will give the kid a new ball signed by all the cabinet members so long as the kids promise to come around to his place once a week to talk policy.

Here’s the pitch:

“Somebody asked whether he had a good curveball and he said, ‘If I had a good curveball, I wouldn’t be president.’”

You know who had a good curveball?  George Bush.  And many people consider him to have been president.  Here’s a look at his 2001 throw during the World Series.  Nothing to it for this guy.  Pitch is at about 3:30.

Source: ESPN, MidwestSportsFan.