Your Sperm Flocks to Hot Chicks Faster and More Enthusiastically

There is now scientific evidence for “eh” sex.  Sometimes you just aren’t into it, and that’s not your fault.  It’s her fault!  Says science.

New research found that males can adjust the speed and effectiveness of their sperm by allocating more or less seminal fluid to copulations. The determining factor is whether the male finds the female attractive.

Look, I too thought the 1 to 10 Scale and No Fat Chicks Rule were totally backwards and sexist and had no place in our progressive society, but this is science talking.  The same science that brought us evolution and abortion and homosexuality and fusion cuisine and all these other pillars of our rational enlightened future.  A look into the mind of the sperm:  

For the study, published in the current Proceedings of the Royal Society B, the researchers collected natural ejaculates from dominate and subordinate red junglefowl ["a direct ancestor of chickens"] males housed at the University of Stockholm. The males had either just mated with attractive or unattractive females.

The scientists next separated the sperm from the seminal fluid and analyzed the quantity and characteristics of both.

“There was a strong relationship between sperm velocity and the volume of the ejaculate sperm came from,” Cornwallis and O’Connor determined, adding that males allocated “larger ejaculates to attractive females.”

I love you THIIIIS much!

“Males may alter the velocity of sperm they allocate to copulations by strategically firing their left and right ejaculatory ducts, which can operate independently,” they explained.

Stimulation from sexy, attractive females, therefore, leads to the double firing.

But it makes it that much harder when you double-fire her and she walks right out of your life.  And yes, the scientists are suggesting that your body has some control over which nut you put in the game and which you leave on the bench.  Similar results have been reached through experiments with other animals.

Are your sperm more likely to just give it up to any old girl if your judgment is impaired by alcohol?  I put that question to you, dinosaur chicken scientists.

Source: Discovery News.