Wanted: Lil Wayne Impersonator (Old Jews May Apply)

June 24th, 2009

By: Ben

Do you live in the L.A. area? Do you say things like, “Put some shoes on and keep that paper runnin’” or “Flow so sick, how could you not be infected? I got that dope d*ck, how could she not be injected?” Does your voice sound like you just finished coughing out an ounce of weed?

Then there may be a job for you on Craigslist:

My son is turning 16 and really wanted Lil Wayne to perform for his birthday gala. Unfortunately his schedule will not permit him to make it. I need a Lil Wayne impersonator desperately.

There’s a catch, though.

Here is the kicker my son is blind so you do not need to look like the rapper just sound like him. I understand he grunts and mumbles a lot. I don’t care if you are 67 and Jewish if you can sing the songs you’re hired. Money is not an issue. Name your price.

It’s all well and good until the boy starts asking questions. ”My first studio album? Why it was called… Little Wayne… Raps… Rap Songs.”