Texts From Last Night: The Greatest Hits Collection

Allow me to waste your time once again: today I have for you a very LOL website called Texts From Last Night.  No tricks here!  The tagline is, “Remember that text you shouldn’t have sent last night?  We do.”  Starring…

I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn’t stop thinking about how scary space is

My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth’s life

I told you I would drunk text you sometime……..its that time.

More of the very best missives from the world of short-form intoxicated telecommunication, after the J!  

Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.

So I went home with some chick last night… I’m not sue what’s worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.

What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex… Can I get a ride home?

(843): happy early fathers day!!!
(829): im not a father
(843): about that…

WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!

(434): why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
(540): you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.

Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more

And perhaps the number one most brutal text message exchange on the site…

(212): i want you now
(916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother…or stop drinking so much…I don’t want to see this

Texts From Last Night via Nerve.