With New “Surgery” Technology, You Can Restore Your Virginity As Often As You Want!

Virginity: those were the days.  One woman liked being a virgin so much that she had surgery to restore her virginity.  But then she lost it again.  So she went under the knife and got another do-over.  But then she lost it again.  This happened six times.

To celebrate their first year together as a married couple, she went to a plastic surgery clinic and had a hymenoplasty operation.

The husband was so delighted with the present, that a year later Natalia wanted to give that joy to him again. And the next year, and the year after that.

Unfortunately, all that tampering down there can cause certain complications on account of God punishing you because you can’t make up your damn mind…  

Now the woman, who first got the surgery because her husband was all sad that other dudes had been up in there before she married (oh, at age 24 – was that guy f*cking serious?), is in intensive care.

The sixth time the woman came for revirgination surgery, the doctors warned her it posed dangers for her health. Nevertheless, Natalia signed a waiver of all claims and had the surgery done.

But the doctors’ fears turned out to be justified. The woman’s weakened immune system failed to fight an unspecified minor infection she caught after the surgery, and landed her in intensive care.

Can you blame her?  I tell you, if there were a surgery that I could undergo to magically restore my ability to fumble the bra clasp, put a condom on backwards, and cash my check in 20 seconds, I’d be in the hospital right this moment, health risks be damned.

No, what I actually meant to say there is WHY WOULD A PERSON CHOOSE TO BE SO GODD*MN STUPID?

Naturally, this all happened in Russia, because…

In Soviet Russia, the cherry pops YOU!!!!!

Source: MOSNews via Spike.