Rumors Swirl That “G.I. Joe” Is the Worst Film Ever Screened to Paramount Audiences

June 16th, 2009

By: Ben

The post-production weeks of the upcoming super action thriller G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra have been plagued by rumors and counter-allegations, most recently that director Stephen Sommers was fired from the film and banned from the studio. According to an insider site:

After a test screening wherein the film tested the lowest score ever from an audience in the history of Paramount, the executive who pushed for the movie, Brad Weston, had Stephen Sommers, the super hack director of the film fired. Removed. Locked out of the editing room.

But perhaps we can’t believe everything we read on the internet. The Holy Truth, plus a clip of the wonderful movie trailer, beckons from the other side of the jump…

According to Variety, which is an even more insidery source,

Sommers was never let go from the project and is still putting his final touches on the actioner, which bows Aug. 7.

In fact, as part of his contract Sommers has final cut. And the test screenings that have taken place have resulted in mostly positive reviews…

And “G.I. Joe” producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura has responded directly to websites saying, “It’s very unfair to Steve. It’s completely untrue. He was never asked to leave or been fired. That’s ridiculous.”

Is it ridiculous, though? Perhaps far-fetched and unfair, but I invite you to view the theater trailer for G.I. Joe below. It’s like a kindergarten-style collage of every hackneyed trope in the action genre.

In the span of two minutes, we learn that the movie showcases a secret evil underwater lair, a femme fatale in a skintight bodysuit, a flying ninja battle, a flying motorcycle battle, the demolition of an iconic world monument, the words “we have never faced a threat like this,” the words “from the director of The Mummy,” and explosion sequences featuring every major type of fuel-powered vehicle in existence, including cars, trucks, motorcycles, spacecraft, jets, boats, trains, and at least one submarine.

Like the director had a checklist of tired action scenes that he was obligated to show in the movie. ”We need jets flying over the Pyramids, dammit! Don’t you try to tell me that our plot has no place for jets flying over the Pyramids!” The trailer starts at 0:28 below.