Revealed: How Eliot Spitzer Got Caught With His Pants Down

Heretofore sealed court records pertaining to the famous crime drama Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer and the Case of the Missing Money That Was Being Spent on Prostitutes have been opened.  They tell of how Spitzer got off and then got caught, in February ‘08.  

Mr. Spitzer, according to the documents and the lawyer’s comments, met regularly with Emperor’s Club prostitutes, sometimes in cities outside New York and Washington, over 18 months to 2 years, using a variety of aliases and paying with postal money orders. 

What brought him down?  Was it hubris?  Was he mad with power?  No…  

Well, maybe those things, but really it was a simple case of the I.R.S. getting nosy:

The account said that criminal investigators from the I.R.S., “in the course of a regularly conducted review of certain banking activity,” discovered that Mr. Spitzer had arranged suspicious bank transfers from one of his personal accounts to an account in the name of a shell company used by the Emperor’s Club, a version of events that was similar to news reports at the time his involvement with prostitutes was first disclosed.

The letter said a preliminary review of the shell company’s account “revealed millions of dollars of domestic and international wire transfers that were not consistent with legitimate consulting business, but rather indicative of money-laundering activity.”

Alas, the article does not answer such questions as, how many of the millions were from Spitzer?  How many girls did he cycle through?  Blonde or Asian?  Was he a jolly old rascal who made the women clap with glee every time he came around or was he a mean and bitter man who made the girls pick up their money off the floor?  At least we know this much:

The governor paid using postal money orders, a method he called “relatively unsophisticated” and an indication that Mr. Spitzer was spending his own money.

He was old school.

Source: The New York Times.