Irish Hangover Cures

Too Many Car Bombs and Green Beer Last Night? Looking at your computer screen like it’s your enemy, right now? Shrug it off and shape up! You’ve still got hours left!

If you were even half-Irish, you’d be sneaking pulls from a bottle under your desk. Re-tox is the best de-tox! For those of you that don’t have the stomach for that, here are some other helpful hangover cures. I’m Irish, so these are my Irish Hangover Cures:

1) Ulster Fry – Concoction of potato bread, fried eggs, bacon, sausage, tomatoes, mushrooms, and Irish soda bread. (Let me know if you try, because I haven’t, but grandma stands by it.)

2) Bloody Mary – Tomato juice, vodka, and Worcestershire sauce. Make it virgin if you can’t handle it and don’t blame me if you get sick.

3) Gatorade (duh!) – Hydrates and replaces electrolytes in your system. Not to mention, it tastes like liquid goodness in the morning.

4) Masturbation – Feels great during and after. I don’t know how this works and it’s probably psychological, but the pressure release is very soothing. Get ready to go right back to bed. (NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!!)

5) Pain meds or special, hangover meds – It all tastes like ass and doesn’t do much for the most torrential ‘day afters’.

6) Sweating – Running or sitting in a sauna is temporarily painful, but is the best way to get all of the alcohol out. You will feel great in a few hours.

7) Massage – Massage your back and head to relax and better cope with your painful situation.

8 ) Vomit, then Water – This gets to the root of the porblem, but at what expense?