Douchebag of the Day: Chuck Norris Threatens to Run for President
March 11th, 2009
By: Melysa
Chuck Norris says he and his fellow right-wing peers are ready for the second American revolution. While on The Glen Beck Program the other night, the American martial arts actor promised that if things became any worse, he would run for President of Texas. The sad part is he wasn’t kidding.
He goes on to say that Texas was never formally a part of the United States to begin with, and that if rebellion would lead to separationg from the US, Texas would lead.
You know what, Chuck Norris is an idiot. Generally, I don’t mind celebrities talking about politics, but that’s one retarded statement. If he wants to be President the retardedly-shaped penis that is Texas, they can have him. I do not want a Michael Lohan look-a-like with bigger guns, tighter pants, and a quasi-mullet, being the leader of any revolutions.
Something tells me he’d reinstate sodomy laws in Texas if he were in charge, along with the banning of sex toys for women like they’ve did in Mississippi back in 2003. A country without anal sex or adult toys, but plenty of guns and denim. Holy shit, sound like hell.
Source: Current.com
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And he would most likely win. Not like being president of Texas is anything big these days.
You raise a good point.
XOXO
Melysa
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A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris’ shoe. Chuck replied, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m Chuck Norris!” The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Okay, one more…
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion, one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
…he may be a douch but he makes for some of the best jokes.
He’d probably be better than that spend crazy Obama that’s in office now. I know George screwed up, but Dayum, President Pelosi, er Obama, has tripled the deficit. Shame people didn’t listen to what he had planned for us.
He’s advocating treason and sedition. At the first hint of rebellion he should be put against a wall and shot. Then we burn Texas to a cinder as an example.
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