Would You Rather Get Your Hand or Your Penis Chopped Off?

Bryan Speers, an employee at Crusader Meats in Benneydale, Arizona, was recently rushed to the hospital after nearly chopping off his entire hand with a bandsaw while at work the other day.

The 26-year-old man says he was working when all of a sudden his left wrist accidentally caught the blade, ”And then I saw my hand flapping around.” He added, “I just grabbed my hand and walked down to the office swearing my head off … I really thought I was going to die.”

Co-workers rushed him to the hospital 45 minutes away, where he spent 13 hours undergoing surgery to reattach his partially amputated left wrist. Mr. Speers had suffered another similar accident previously, when he nearly cut off the same arm about five centimetres up his arm.

Dang, dude, I don’t know. If you almost cut off your arm and hand twice before the age of 30, you should really consider leaving that job– attend ITT Tech or ask some whores for insider tips on how to suck sausage for mad cash or something– before you accidentally chop off your main man. I mean, having no hand would undoubtedly suck, but at least you can still get head!

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