EXCLUSIVE: F-Listed Q&A with "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell" Author, Tucker Max

Admit it, you love Tucker Max. There’s just something about an asshole that’s so irresistible. Why? Hanging with one is a challenge that we all take on sooner than later – can we change them, defeat them, or — even better– join them? 

Tucker Max is one such asshole, and F-Listed admits we’re drawn to him like a perv to the Internet. It’s been three years since this blogger/Internet personality’s debut collection of short stories, “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell,” hit the New York Times Best Seller List.

Will his next book top his previous tales of debauchery, or has swimming with sharks softened the notorious womanizer? Find out!

F-Listed’s Exclusive Q&A with Tucker Max in 3…2…1….

One of your signature lines is, “My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole.” Do you really consider yourself an asshole? Well, you’ve read my stories. Don’t you think I act like an asshole in them?

A self-admitted voracious reader during your youth, who are your favorite authors and why? John Kennedy Toole (“Confederacy of Dunces”), PJ O’Rourke (“All The Trouble In The World”, “Peace Kills”, etc) and probably Chuck Palahniuk (“Fight Club”), because those three wrote the things tha affected me most, both as a writer and a reader.

What can fans expect from your new book “Assholes Finish First,” release date Fall 2009? Will we see a new side to Tucker Max? It will be the same type of stories that are in IHTSBIH, but other than that, we’ll just have to see what happens. Maybe exactly the same, maybe very different.

Are you worried at all about what fans and critics will say about your new book and the film adaptation of your New York Time’s bestseller, “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell”? Not worried about critics at all; they never even reviewed my first book, and they don’t matter to the success or failure of art anymore. I do care what my fans think, but only in the abstract. If lots of people like it, it means I’m probably doing something right. If not, then I need to think about what went wrong.

What do you think of comedian/late-night host Chelsea Handler? I feel like the two of you were twins separated at birth. (You both even have a thing for midgets!) To be completely honest, I don’t know much about her. I haven’t read her books. The little bits of her show I have seen were pretty funny though. I can see why she’s popular.

You and funnyman/author Michael Ian Black had a playful exchange of threats on each other’s sites last year. What was the final verdict? Did he end up “f*st f*ck[ing] every hole in your boozy little body” like he said he would? Be serious. That effete little twinkie would faint at the sight of me. He backed out of the whole thing. He was never serious about fighting, and even though I knew that, I totally would have fought him, and under the conditions I said: Drunk as shit. I wish he was serious.

I must say, I just about died laughing the first time I read “Tucker tries buttsex; hilarity does not ensue.” From your experience, what is it about *looks around and whispers* “buttsex” that scares so many women? Would you say that story was representative of your other encounters with a woman’s chocolate starfish? Well, my understanding is that it hurts. I would not be overly exited to get something as large as a penis stuck into my ass; I understand why women feel that way. And no, that story is not at all representative of my experiences with anal. For the most part it goes smoothly. Though sometimes it can get gritty.

The script for the movie adaptation of  ”I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell” was not very well-received by some critics after it leaked onto the Internet back in 2008. What do you say to those who claim the script is ” about as funny as a bad lawyer with herpes”? Those same people said the same things about my book when it came out. 500k books sold and two years on the best seller list later, who do you think knows funny better–me or them? BTW–the movie is fucking awesome, and is going to blow up. Get on the bandwagon now, before it gets really crowded.

What’s your opinion of Obama being U.S. president? I do not agree with him on many issues, but I was pretty happy he got elected. I think this past presidential election was more than anything, a referendum on the direction of America. Obama may or may not turn out to be a great President, but his election showed that a majority of America is ready to join the rest of the world in the 21st century. The world is changing, and a vote for Obama was a vote for moving forwards, not backwards–even if Obama isn’t the person who will eventually take us there.

In an article for The Huffington Post you wrote, “The Second Wave feminists were Jane Pauley and Gloria Steinem, and the Third Wave feminists were Britney Spears, Suicide Girls, and Margaret Cho. How did you come up with that conclusion? By looking at the world and seeing what’s there.

What do you think about 22-year-old Natalie Dylan selling her virginity? So far the bid is up to $3.8 million. Why the f*ck would I care? If two consenting adults want to exchange money for sex, fine with me.

What kind of music are you into? Name some of your favorite bands/musicians/singers. Hardcore, ghetto-ass gangster rap. I am totally serious. Everything from Slim Thug to Eminem to 2 Live Crew. I grew playing basketball everyday, and I even though I left the game, I never left the music.

Does it weird you out when women get “I F*cked Tucker Max” tattooed on them? It was at first, but I got used to it. Have anything happen to you enough, it stops being weird.

Using the The Tucker Max Female Rating System, how would you rate the following female celebs?

The Girls Next Door (See here and here.)

The Shannon Twins

Bar Rafaeli 

Kim Kardashian

AnnaLynne McCord

Denise Milani

OK–do you know Denise Milani? Because I desperately want to f*ck her. Huge fake tits are my kryptonite. I cannot say no.

To answer your question–here’s the thing you have to remember about my female rating system. It is ONLY about physical appearance. Nothing else. Of course other things are very important when evaluating a woman, but my system doesn’t account for that, because it tries to be as objective as possible by only evaluating appearance.

Remembering that, OF COURSE all of the girls you linked are 5 stars. Come on–how many girls who are famous for their looks aren’t super hot?

And please don’t give me any bullsh*t about the appearances of any of those girls–there is nothing I hate more than ugly f*cking assholes talking sh*t about hot girls they could never get. Of course you could pick Kim Kardashian apart at the margins–and she unarguably sucks as a person–but in a purely physical sense, the bitch is hot, and so is

every other girl on that list, and anyone who says otherwise is a fucking idiot.

What was your first experience with sex like? Pretty normal. Cute Kentucky girl, I lasted about five seconds. And that was with a condom on.

What’s your favorite thing about a woman? Everything. The world would be so shitty without them

What’s the sexiest thing a woman can do to show you she’s interested? That’s a hard question. I like women who are upfront, but so many women interpret that to  mean “obnoxious.” I like women who are fun and outgoing, but so many women interpret that to be “loud and annoying.” If you are a woman and you want to show me you are interested, I guess the best thing to do is just be forward but normal. If I find you attractive, believe me, I will take the bait.

What turns you on in the bedroom? Besides pure physical beauty? Sexually, I like women who I have chemistry with, who mesh with me and can get into a rhythm with me.

On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate yourself between the sheets? I have no idea. Shouldn’t you ask that question to the women I f*ck? I feel like they would be better at evaluating my abilities. I do know that some women think I’m awesome, some think I’m average, some think I suck.I always get off, so I am at least getting that part right.

What’s the one thing women should always keep in mind when it comes to men? Oh man…sometimes I don’t undetstand why women like men at all. I think if I were a woman I’d be a lesbian, but I guess every guy says that. The thing to keep in mind is that men will treat you like you let them. If you let them disrespect you, don’t expect anything else. But if you demand respect, then you’ll get it–or the guy will leave. Either way, you’re better off.

What’s your definition of love? I don’t know. Who am I, Erich Fromm?

On behalf of F-Listed’s loyal readers and myself, thank you and best of luck! Be sure to check out his site www.TuckerMax.com for the latest on his sophomore book, “Asshole Finish First,” as well as his movie adaptation of “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell”.

Photos Source: Tucker Max’s Flickr Page

*                   * *                   * *                   * *                   *         

 

Tucker Max is a blogger/Internet personality turned writer, originally from Atlanta, Georgia. He received his BA from the University of Chicago in 1998, where he graduated  with honors. He went on to attend Duke Law School on an academic scholarship, and graduated with a JD in 2001. He is the author of the NY Times Bestseller “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell,” which has been adapted into a movie, currently in post-production.  His sophomore book, “Assholes Finish First” is expected to be published in late 2009. Tucker currently lives Hollywood, California.