Why Your Girlfriend Doesn’t Watch Porn
February 9th, 2009
By: Beef
Playboy might be in trouble, but Playgirl isn’t even printing anymore. It’s not just the bad economy though. AskMen.com’s Sarah Stefanson let’s us know why girl’s hard-drives aren’t stocked with porn, too:
Watching porn may be a regular part of your routine, but most women rarely watch it, if at all. Have you ever wondered why your girlfriend doesn’t spend hours scouring the internet for dirty movies like you do? Have you tried to get her to watch it with you to no avail? Why does it turn you on so easily while it leaves her cold?
Porn is visual
Most porn is aimed at a male audience. A man’s sexuality is easily stimulated by visual cues alone, while a woman’s desire is provoked more by emotional or mental aspects. This is why the little porn that is made for women or couples is more story line based, as opposed to a succession of arbitrary hardcore sex scenes. For women, it is more important that the sex act be in the context of a larger story. In most mainstream porn, foreplay is a foreign concept and the actors usually jump straight to the (often extreme) sex.
For a fun, story line-based porn, try the big budget Pirates. If she doesn’t like the sex, she can at least be entertained by the porn stars sword fighting with CGI skeletons.
Porn actors are ugly
The only important part of a man’s body in mainstream porn is his penis. This may be why there are so very few attractive men in straight porn. In fact, many male porn stars are downright ugly (Ron Jeremy anyone?). Gay porn actors are almost always handsome, but since most heterosexual couples don’t get off with the Brokeback thing, you might want to try a movie from the Playgirl collection: hot guys and hot chicks having hot sex.
When it comes to female porn actors, very few women appreciate the standard stick thin, fake breasted, bottle blonde with collagen-filled lips that seems to be featured in most porn movies. Try a movie with Vivid star Sunny Leone for a refreshing alternative to the stereotypical porn star. Her breasts may be fake, but at least the girl’s got curves!
More on why your girlfriend doesn’t watch porn…
Porn is contrived
Women are less tolerant of the contrived situations featured in porn. More often than not, it seems as though the people having sex on the screen don’t even like each other. The old “in and out” may be good enough for you, but your girlfriend will likely respond better to characters that genuinely want each other. It’s not fair to expect Oscar-caliber performances from our porn actors, of course, but a little sexual tension goes a long way.
Female porn director Tristan Taormino’s Chemistry is an unscripted, reality TV-style movie that has been praised for its depiction of spontaneous, authentic desire among its cast members.
Porn is degrading
There are many things that happen in pornography that women find degrading or disgusting. Admit it — there are some acts you have to watch in porn because your girlfriend would never agree to try them in real life. Most women do not enjoy facials, rough anal, gagging oral, ATM, or many of the other hardcore sex acts frequently seen in mainstream porn.
Try Veronica Hart’s Edge Play for scenarios that focus on a woman’s pleasure, happily devoid of ejaculate on women’s faces.
Porn is slutty
Women are not generally encouraged to be sexual like men are. For fear of being called nasty names, many women are hesitant to show too much sexual drive or to admit to getting pleasure from things like pornography. If your girl is afraid to watch porn because she thinks it’s slutty, ease her into it gradually by starting with the erotica of female director Candida Royalle, a pioneer in the genre of couple’s porn.
she’s just not that into it
As you can see, there are several elements to mainstream porn that just don’t mesh with most women’s sexuality, which is probably why your girlfriend isn’t that into porn. That being said, if you make the effort to find out what she likes and what turns her on, maybe you can find something to share onscreen.
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I happen to like watching porn… I think I do it as much as a guy does. If not more…
I really hate when one boring woman tries to tell men that all women are like her. I agree that porn is better when the men are hotter (see Johnny Sins, hot) or the people actually look like they want each other (this is why amateur is way better) and no I don’t like watching facials and anything degrading to women but I don’t think all men are that into it either and there’s a lot more out there than that. But the point is, women are visual too (i’m an artist, i need visuals!) and i don’t want emotions in my dirty fantasies, unless you think hot lust is an emotion. Women who don’t try to supress their sexuality do like porn too.
LOL@ this BS
I don’t mind porn but I am not nearly as into it as a male mainly because the female don’t look like they enjoy what they are doing. If the girl doesn’t really get off then its bad sex and why on earth would I want to see two people have bad sex. I think a lot of what is said in this post if fairly true about how I feel about porn. Its not that I don’t like porn, its just that it isn’t made to appeal to me. I happen to like attractive men, realistic looking women and I think the prospect of having semen in my hair or even worst my eye is nasty.
Interesting…because a lot of the straight & gay porn these days is directed/shot by WOMEN.
haha…had to look up ATM…but suddenly I have a sudden urge to view some porn….
My girlfriend loves facials!
i am also a visual person, so i enjoy watching porn :: and agree amateur porn is often more appealing :: in fact the reall attraction of amateur porn is there are not sets, not the usual male faces, and often very pretty women :: which suggets to me:
- porn is not degrading or slutty UNLESS you want it to be.
The other problem with the article is the assumption all women are the same or similar :: we are not and i am able to enjoy soft and romantic but also have terrific fun with exciting and adventurous sex.
this applies perfectly to myself….every word in this entry was true to me. MUCH thanks for the suggestions
And thats why we watch 80’s porn. The new stuff is junk [parolees in their 40's banging barely 18's - NO!]
Isn’t an ATM where you go to get $ to buy porn??
I also want to meet LeLe….Just to see if she does watch as much porn as a guy.Hmmm,say as myself?
i’m not that into porn BECAUSE i’m so visual. a photographic memory is a terrible thing if filled with ugly images. the rare porn i have chosen is therefore all male. a pornographic image is never going to ‘like me in return,’ so what do i care if he’s gay? and besides, porn is never part of my masturbation routine; that is pure physicality beyond even lust. think about it: even babies manage to play with themselves!
I find this topic interesting because I never understood why people were against porn. I mean, I understand how some might see it as “degrading,” but I don’t think that term accurately represents the genre as a whole. Some porn is bad, others can be very good.
As a female, I can say that I’ve watched porn since I got a hold of the Internet about age 13. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with playing with one’s self, and it’s easier to get the visual with porn. The older I’ve gotten, however, and the more experience I’ve had with “real” sex, the more I’ve come to be turned off by porn.
I’ve tried watching it for reasons of self-stimulation and I can honestly say I can no longer finish the job. The types of videos I come across nowadays are so far from the truth. They’re aggressive, but not in a good way, and I don’t think they portray what women (from the most white bread to the kinkiest) actually like.
My advice to men who watch porn: Watch lesbian porn. Chances are you’ll learn more from them than whatever traditional porn is out there. (Well, lesbians that strike you as “real” lesbians. Not one’s doing it for the paycheck. If you know what I mean. Fake is fake.)
The thing I think what’s wrong with porn has nothing to do with facials or group sex or any of that. It has to do with the techniques people duplicate from watching it. The techniques on tape are not what we want, and yet they’re teaching guys that that’s what we want. It’s all about technique! =)
XOXO
Melysa
F-Listed
i’m a female and i watch porn. however she does have really valid points like how ugly the actors are, and it can be degrading (even my male friends dont like seeing facials), how contrived it can be…also there are so many negative connations associated with it.
Nowdays i watch mainly hentai movies because they have a storyline and i know no one got hurt/ trafficked or coerced into doing it.
@ cboy492… I definitely watch more porn than u…lol
LeLe leave me a message on my forum page so I can reply to you and we can compare notes and time amounts
lol