Douchebag of the Day: Whoever Suggested Women Spray Their Vag w/ Crystals Because Then Men Will Want Them

In case you haven’t heard, us women go through a lot to please our men. I’m not talking the essentials (bathing, shaving, waxing, butt plugs). I’m talking about everything else we go through (Brazilian waxing, anal bleaching, double penetration). And now some asshole has decided to bedazzle our wet watermelons? Leave our pink slices alone !

Via Current (via Butterfly Diary):

Completely Bare is offering an opulent bikini wax with 24k gold spray and Swarovski crystals to adorn your *ahem* for the big day. Er, night.

The Opulent Bikini Wax is available at all salons (it used to be available only at the flagship store). What will your “down under” receive? A full Completely Bare bikini wax, a 24k gold spray to give your skin extra shimmer and Swarovski crystals applied by hand in the design of your choice.

There are also two limited edition designs: a red Swarovski Crystal Heart or your significant other’s initials.

Here’s the best (or twisted) part. If you’re single, you can opt for a broken heart or a skull and crossbones.

What do you guys think about this extreme type of nether region maintenance? I mean, really, since when does a man need so much peppering to convince him to sink his meat into his woman? A real man doesn’t care about bleaching or crystals. A real man wants a woman that smells good and can deliver in the bedroom. Am I right or am I right?

(Oh, and for the record, I’ve never actually gotten my bumhole bleached. I’ve done a lot of twisted things in my day, but there’s something about the idea of my getting a flashback of going to get my ass lips bleached while holding my first child that seems awkward.)