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For $150 You Can Get Head From a Porn Star
…Virtually, anyway.
Some dude over at NASA got tired of looking at glowing balls up in the sky all day and decided to something with his life. The result: RealTouch — a virtual-sex device whereby men can stick their penis inside a machine while they watch porn on their computer. But that’s not all!
RealTouch promises to “stroke and massage your cock to an explosive orgasm.” Sounds pretty intense. Then again so does making love to your kitchen’s trash disposal.
From their site:
“Simply connect the USB cable to your computer and in just moments you’re synched up to the hot sex on the screen. Feel every flick of her tongue, every clinched muscle, and every tremble of her body as she comes.”
“No other product captures the delicate nuances of the female body quite like RealTouch. Whether you prefer amazing blowjobs, fucking a tight ass, or a wet pussy, the revolutionary design of RealTouch lets you break all the rules without breaking any promises.”
“The life-like orifice, flexes and squeezes to create a comfortable seal around you cock. It automatically adjusts the level of resistance for incredible blowjobs, and intense anal or vaginal sex.”
“Behind the orifice are the unique dual belt drives. Made from a supple, skin-like material called Versaflex, the belts move at variable speeds to stroke the entire length of your cock.”
“We’ll also satsify your desires with a walk on the wild side: try trannies, midgets, or well-hung shemales!”
Five bucks says the NASA engineer who developed this puts peanut butter on his balls for his dog to lick.
For more information, click here (site NSFW).
Posted In:
Adult Toys, Gadgets/Tech, NSFW, Sex Drugs and Rock & Roll, Stuff For Your Other Head
$5 sez yer right.
wow this is really pathetic.. what’s next, sex droids?
http://www.realdoll.com/
It looks like a pecker peeler to me.
No way would I bput my junk between two belt sanders
I refuse to believe I’m the only guy here thinking that’s freakin’ awesome.
It’ll never introduce you to it’s irritating friends (and get upset when you don’t like them), ask for money, or make demands on your time when you really can’t be bothered with it but feel like you ought to.
If only it could fetch me a beer and cook a rare steak.
Maybe in the next revision.
Honestly, I wouldn’t mind trying it out. I know it would never ever beat my wife’s stellar clam but it actually looks like there’s some real innovation behind. If chicks can have fuck machines, why can’t we?
haha. you said “clam” (that word cracks me up)
XOXO
Melysa
F-Listed
Does san louis obispo ca still have the Bearded Clam bar? My wife sang there in the 70′s.
I have a 9 1/2″ penis and this is as real as it gets. Extremely close to the real thing. I’d use this much more but my wife demands my penis 3 times a day. This is a great, great product.