F-Listed Sexpert Q&A: Pleasuring a Man's Chocolate Starfish

Q – So I’d never even thought about my anus being a pleasure zone until a girlfriend years back went down below and started munching and it felt pretty damn good. So what’s your take (or your girlfriends) on playing with a man’s– as you put it– ‘chocolate starfish’? What’s the most you’ve done, and/or would be willing to do that you might find arousing? Does it still seem pretty taboo? Thanks.

This is a great question and I’m happy you asked!  It seems to me that when this topic comes up in conversation, even with the closest of friends, people suddenly become uncomfortable and aren’t as candid they would normally be talking about their sex lives. Their definitely is a negative undertone when it comes to anything dealing with the rear, which is such a foreign idea to me. Have we so quickly forgotten that just some years ago the media fad was for starlets to flash their fish tacos to the cameras? If we allowed ourselves to promote such classless behavior, why must it be taboo for us to express that which turns our healthy sexual appetites on?

Social Stigma vs. Science

One dominating factor that makes it taboo for a woman to stimulate a male’s chocolate starfish is the belief that stimulating said region indirectly tests a man’s heterosexuality. If you were to remove all social stigmas and make it purely about the physical, it’s easier to understand that the reason it’s pleasurable is because of the numerous amount of nerve endings located in that region. Aside from licking the outer lip region, about a half-inch inside a man’s anus is the prostate gland (aka, the male G-spot), which, when touched or massaged, heightens intensity and normally results in an intense orgasm, (much like when a women has a G-spot orgasm).

Communication and Sexual Compatibility

I am a firm believer in talking about what you enjoy sexually with your partner right off the bat and make sure you are sexually compatible. It doesn’t mean one should rule out what the other person is into right away, but if the dude gets off on being bound and gagged and driven around town in the trunk of his car before he sticks it inside, trust that is not a relationship I want to be in. Not because it’s “weird,” but because that sh!t sounds time consuming as all hell. In this case, I would advise women, in specific, to speak to their male partners before licking them down there or sticking anything in there to stimulate his prostate. If we don’t want a man to just accidentally “slip” into our bat caves, we can’t accidentally “slip” into theirs. That’s just wrong.

There are women out there that enjoy it, and from me and my friends I would say it’s definitely a 75/25 ratio of girls who wouldn’t dare venture there. Better to be paired up with a girl who you don’t have to convince to like it, but that just knows that she’d like it. And trust me, women know what they like before even having to try it. My Barbie’s were having threesomes and playing with dildos before I even knew what any of that was. If those of us who enjoy “kinky” activities don’t want to be judged, it’s important not to judge those who like their sex games “vanilla” flavored. 

Physical Turn-On vs. Mental Turn-On  

In addition to the nerves in that region going crazy with pleasure when stimulated, another reason we find pleasure is because it’s a mental turn-on. There are different reasons why people are mentally turned-on by the act, whether it be the idea of it being taboo, the taste, the smell, element of control or humiliation, pleasuring their partner, etc. Personally for me, I just figure if it’s pleasurable for women, why can’t it be pleasurable for men? 

How Much Love Should the Chocolate Starfish Get?

In terms of what’s the most I’ve done, and/or would be willing to do, I’ll just say this: Sex should above all else, be pleasurable. If that means getting dirty in the process, eff it! DO IT! There are several things that can be done to stimulate a man’s chocolate starfish that go beyond licking and/or penetration, in case your lady friend is interested and willing to play around.  Alternating between giving a man’s testicles and anus love and attention is a good way to breakup the monotone of just do his starfish, which can get pretty intense. If she’s really feeling adventuresome, she can put her hands to work and give the man a handjob at the same time. That’s one acrobatic trick you won’t get at Cirque de Soleil!

If any of you have any questions or thoughts they’d like to share, feel free to hit me up at mmartinez@flisted.com. Nothing is off limits! (And yes, that is me with the corndogs. What can I say, I’m a classy girl!)

XOXO

Melysa

F-Listed