Hump Wednesday: How To Eat a Lady’s Taco

If you finally had the huevos to ask your lady crush out for New Year’s Eve tonight, making sure you satisfy her once you get her in the bedroom could make or break the way things will pan out in the new year.

Being a lady myself I can tell you right now that not all of us put out on a first date. Maybe that’s what you’re looking for, maybe it’s not, but if you want to impress her, may I suggest you bypass the not-so-subtle pushing of her head down between your legs, and instead concentrate on pleasuring her.

Trust me, if please her right, it won’t be much longer before you’re both pleasing each other. Whether it’s for a new lady friend you wish to hook up with, or one you wish to keep for a while, here are my helpful tips on how to properly eat out a woman’s lady bits and leave her satisfied.

How To Eat a Lady’s Taco

Showering

No matter how drunk the two of you may be, taking a shower beforehand is always a certified plus. If it’s the first time you’ve been with her, and she doesn’t want to be seen naked, may I suggest you run her a bath or a shower, perhaps even complete with candles. It may seem corny, and of course not all women are into this, but chances are she’ll want to see whether or not you could be one of the true romantic, “good” guys or not. (Don’t let me down!)

Although, in truth, the shower isn’t so much for romantic reasons, so much as it is for cleanliness. Whether or not you really enjoy eating out a woman, the truth is many of us are insecure about our nether region and if you want to truly please us, we ought to feel as comfortable as possible. If the woman is fresh out of the shower and all clean, chances are a man won’t hold back when it comes to exploring our lower lips, etc.. Just be sure to not be too pushy, or you will scare her off. Be gentle, be subtle, above all, let her know you want to eat her out. Let know you yearn to taste her.

Foreplay

Now that she’s all clean and thus feeling extra sexy, it’s time to work on your foreplay. Sorry, fellas, you just can’t go burying your tongue in there! Trust me, I’ve watched my fair share of adult films, and if you think us women like to get jackhammered then you’re in need of severe guidance. Do not believe everything you see in the movies!

Make sure to make-out for a while and feed off her vibes. Kissing on the neck is always a plus, and, in my opinion, is one of my most erogenous zones. A little nibbling always helps, but don’t bite too hard, just in case she isn’t into that sort of thing. You don’t want to come off as some 15-year-old boy who uses “Twilight” as his sex guide. Personally, I like biting, but you want to make sure you don’t break the skin or leave any marks. A grown woman doesn’t want a hickey on her neck on New Year’s Day. She wants an experienced man that can satisfy, but leave no marks.

Slowly move on down from her neck towards her flower, making sure to kiss her as you make your way down. (Don’t forget to play with her breasts and nipples!) Once you get down to her lower lip region, spread her legs so you have space to move around. Neither one of you wants to be cramped.

Don’t be so quick to pull down her drawers. Teasing on top of the panties feels just as nice and helps build the sexual tension. When I say touch on top of the panties, I mean in the most gentle of ways. Do not apply too much pressure or you’ll bruise the clitoris and it can go numb if it is bruised. Move your finger in different motions: Front to back, side to side, circular, etc.  Your goal is to tease her clit.

Many women also enjoy having their inner thighs kissed lightly. That’s not a technique I am personally fond of, but it is definitely something to keep in mind. After all, not all women like the same techniques. Blowing on a woman’s inner thigh can also feel extremely erotic. The main thing to keep in mind is to vary the techniques, whether it be playing with the clit on top of her undies, or kissing her inner thigh. Touch her body and show her you want her. 

Eating Her Out

Once your lady friend’s panties come off, that’s when the fun really begins! Especially for her. Again, don’t just dive right in there. Take your time. Begin by blowing gently on her slit, starting from her southern most region (That’s right, I’m talking about her chocolate starfish) toward her clitoris. It’s important to keep in mind it’s more than just our clits that want love and attention, much like you’d want a woman to pay attention to your balls, too.

Next, take out your tongue and take one great big lick of her box. It depends on the woman, but I suggest you make sure to not tense up your tongue and instead make sure it is wide and flat, as opposed to long, stiff, and narrow. The wide tongue ensures that you get maximum range of her p^ssy gato, making sure to lick from bottom to top, the tip of your tongue gently bouncing off her clit. Don’t keep lapping at it like a dog. Move on to something else, such as blowing on her labia lips or gently stimulating her clit with your thumb. I say thumb, because they are usually wider than one’s index finger and covers more ground. A simple kissing of her lower lips can also feel phenomenal. Kiss the entire area, not like you’re scared of it, but with a firmness that commands desire.

One of the best things I think a man can do is use his nose to part the lips and rub her clit. The first time a guy ever did this I was totally weirded out because no man had ever done it before and I would have never imagined it, but I must say it felt wonderful and is a completely different feeling than when a man uses his tongue or fingers. Start with your head tilted forward, almost as if your forehead is resting on the woman’s tummy. Then tilt your head back up straight again, with your nose gently burying itself into her crevice outward, gently bouncing off her clitoris. Most of all, I think what is most sexually stimulating about this is knowing a man isn’t afraid of a woman’s box, and doesn’t mind burying his face in you. The minute a man seems squeemish about the whole thing, you really just want to send him and his man-gina packing.

Next, with her legs spread apart, use your thumbs to separate her lips, allowing your tongue access to her love channel, without fumbling around for the main entrance. Some men think eating a woman out entails hours of licking, but all that does is make her area numb, and eventually she’ll lose interest. Eating her out is exactly what it says “eating her out.” After you separate her lips, be sure to lick, either her entire region, trace her lips, or a little bit of both. Then gently, but firmly slip your tongue inside her. Once inside, change your tongue strokes so as not to become monotonous. Try spelling out the alphabet with our tongue (Literally– A, B, C, D, etc.) so that she feels you varying your tongue strokes inside her. Once you have your tongue securely buried in her, feel free to use your free hands to either rub her clit or gently, but firmly, play with her nipples.

By this point, your chick should really be soaking wet and be putty in your hands, but if you really want to drive her wild, there’s another component you can add to the mix. Your fingers! Eventually, your tongue is going to tire, and you can’t keep it in her box all night, so while you’re varying things upstairs licking her lips and clit, gently place one of your fingers into her box. If you can fit two, even better! If you can stimulate her G-spot while you pleasure her clit, let me tell you boys, you’re lady friend is guaranteed to be bragging the next day to all her girlfriends!

Trust me, there’s nothing more awesome than a man who really knows how to eat one out. I’m all for dating nice guys, but if the dude can’t make me wet with pleasure, forget it. NEXT! Not everyone likes the same things, so it’s important to get to know your partner and what gets them off. There’s nothing wrong with asking, so don’t be shy. I know this was a pretty lengthy post, but I hope you guys read it and that I was able to help you out. I didn’t want to feed you the same BS as every other site out there. Good luck out there, and if there’s ever anything you want to know more of, hit me up at mmartinez@flisted.com!