Douchebag of the Day: Billy Ray Cyrus
October 24th, 2008
By: Melysa
I’ve lost a lot of time sitting here debating whether or not to put up this Miley Cyrus post. I don’t feel comfortable talking about a 15-year-old on a site that has “upskirt fish taco delight” as a category. My disdain for her, however, is so great is supersedes all logic.
Anyhoo…so, Miley’s mullet-wearing father finally decided to talk to his 15-year-old daughter about the birds and the bees now that she has herself a 20-year-old boyfriend.
A close family friend says Billy Ray told him: “We brought Miley up with good morals and strong religion, but she’s at that age where she is bound to be experimenting and her hormones are going nuts.
“I told her in no uncertain terms that her career would be over if something stupid were to happen and she would no longer be a role model for young girls, something she takes very seriously.
Can you guys give me some feedback, please, because I remember getting “the talk” when I was in kindergarten. I remember ’cause my parents also explained to me the concept of masturbation and totally thought us kids should not feel guilty. Some may that’s too early, but 15 is too late! There were girls in my school already giving handjobs at 11!
It’s also rumored that Miley’s already on the prowl for her own pad when she turns 16 next month and her parents don’t care that he spends almost every night at her family’s house now. An insider said, “Justin is the guy Miley’s parents see her settling down with a few years down the line. He’s handsome, talented, clean-living, goes to church and knows his Bible-a real catch.”
Jamie-Lynn has got herself some future competition!
Facebook
Honestly I can’t wait until Miley’s sex tape comes out so Billy Ray and his scarecrow wife can shut their damn mouths about how Christian and religious their family is. Christ they pimp their kid out harder than Joe Simpson, she’s bound to go off the deep end sooner or later. Personally I think Miley is the most obnoxious teenage girl I’ve ever seen, but that’s just my opinion.
Special note to Mily The Mut Face Cyrus: If you want to be sexy, it’d help if you looked older than 12, were naturally attractive/pretty, didn’t have a face like Clint Howard, and were more than a talentless kid star with a lot of unearned money who’s desperately seeking to extend their career beyond what it should. Can they not find anything better than this? I mean I could go to a local HS and pick some random girl who’d be way better looking/talented than this joke. I’m not a fan of nepotism!