Audrina Patridge’s Balloons Want To Go To College

HOLY GOATBALLS! Audrina Patridge has decided she wants to quit the entertainment business for a more productive, fulfilling life by attending Yale University!  The Apocalypse is officially upon us.

It would be really fun to have my own TV show,” she tells In Touch.

In fact, the 23-year-old, who’s been sharing The Hills spotlight for the past two seasons, is already entertaining offers.  “She has been in talks with MTV for her own show, but nothing is set in stone just yet,” says an insider.

Besides, the aspiring actress is hoping to move beyond reality — she’s currently building her résumé by filming Sorority Row with Rumer Willis. “I want to focus on acting and reading scripts and playing characters,” she says.

Alright, so I made a bad joke. I know none of you bought that BS. This droopy-eyed, vacant snot wouldn’t dream of doing something that would require her to use something more than just her awkward t!ts to break out of her materialistic life.

Instead she’ll give acting a go, fall flat on her face, bounce back thanks to her balloons for boobs, marry some rich dude, get divorced, marry another rich dude, get divorced, marry some other rich dude, and then find out during her third divorce that she has skin cancer from having spent her entire life in a bikini under the sun.

I’ve added some pics of Audrina in her day-to-day wardrobe below. This chick is like a damn cartoon. Different episode, same outfit.