Your Daily Fug!

I have a special surprise for you boys and girls this Labor Day morning. It’s actually pretty effing sweet. I’m laughing my ass off right now— and I’m not even stoned!!!

The past couple months or so, I’ve worked very hard contacting female celebs trying to get exclusive interviews with them for you boys and girls to indulge in (See here, here, here and here.)  Alas many women fear my dirty mouth (*cough* K.D. Aubert *cough*), which is fine.  Whatever.

Months back I was able to score an interview with Angelique Morgan, aka Frenchy, from Season 2 of VH1’s hit show Rock of Love with Douche Michaels. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t thrilled with the opportunity.

Read more and experience more uncensored beauty right this way!!!

The day came when she was scheduled to phone me, but at 15 minutes past I wound up contacting her rep.  That’s when I got the news. She couldn’t do the interview.  She was currently at a police station filing a restraining order against some dude. How skankily awesome is that?! I wanted to interview her now more than ever.

Sadly, I had to wait two months while she was on location for a new reality show, no doubt where she’d take the opportunity to parade around naked and pour chocolate all over her tits like she did on Rock of Love.

During those two months my friends relentlessly questioned me as to the outcome of my interview with Angelique. Did I finally get to interview her? When would I interview her?  What was I going to ask her?  “Ask her what Bret Michaels DNA tastes like,” they would say, enthusiasm dripping from every word.

And then that fateful day came once again.  One restraining order and two months of waiting later I sat by the phone once again and awaited her phone call.  I sat and waited.  And waited. And waited. Nothing. That skank! She effing stood me up!

I phoned her publicist, who apologized profusely and assured me she’d confirmed with Angelique the day before.  The woman said she’d try and contact Angelique to see what’s up and get back to me. A few days later she wrote e-mail me saying:

“Angelique has been feeling under the weather and is taking the next few days off from interviews to feel better.  In the process of feeling better, she will be heading to Europe for vacation until September.  Unfortunately, come September, [we] will no longer be representing her.  I apologize for the difficulty and any inconvience this may have posed.”

To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. I was, in all honesty, completely heartbroken.  So many unanswered questions!!!

Never will I find out if she was living the American dream, why she left the world of pornography, but most of all why her porn-for-hire website (See here. Site very very NSFW) says she’s willing to do Boy/Girl/Girl, Solo with Toys, and Bondage, but no anal!!! No anal??? Why kind of woman doesn’t want a penis up her butt??? I know I do!

Never will I learn in great detail what Bret Michaels soldiers taste like, what his fetishes are, nor how big little his penis is.  Most of all, I’ll never learn whether or not Bret Michaels ever gave Angelique Morgan a pearl necklace.  After all, what woman doesn’t love a man to give her gifts? Especially a pearl necklace!

Below I’ve added all her beautifully fug photos for you boys and girls to peruse. One last question: Are these before or after being Photoshopped?

Learn more about Angelique here and here.