Jennifer Aniston Unlucky In Love (Has Great Legs)

Contrary to reports, Jennifer Aniston is not about to settle down and have her eggs sperminated by John Mayer.

“There’s been a bit of tension for some time,” says a source close to 30-year-old John. “They initially opted for a break, hoping a trial split might make them stronger. Sadly it doesn’t seem to have worked.

“John took the decision to end things as he felt he just wasn’t ready for the level of commitment that Jennifer deserved.

“Contrary to reports, Jen didn’t want to have kids or marry this year, but she did want to set a timetable for their future together.

“She also wanted him to assure her he would cut down his tours in the future when they did eventually have children.”

Jesus F. Christ, lady. Slow down!!  A timetable?  This can only mean one thing: they had the ass sex together.

That’s right.  Once you stick you dong in a girl’s anus she’s going to want a ring and some sperm put away for a rainy, post-menopausal day.  Lesson learned: Buy yourself a hooker.  It’ll spare you the breakup drama of her screaming, “I let you c^m in my asshole, you asshole!”

Here’s Jen and her sweet sweet stems taking her bitches to her assistant’s place yesterday somewhere in Cali.

Source