Lauren Conrad Is An Ass And No Cares About Her

Lauren Conrad is nothing but a vacant, materialistic nobody whose delusional enough to think anyone gives a rat’s ass about her average body and even shittier personality.

So when Portuguese soccer superstar Cristiano Ronaldo refused to be photographed with the talentless nobody at a Hollywood nightclub earlier this week Lauren got the equivalent of an unsuspecting money shot in her eyes.

A fellow party-goer revealed: ‘Cristiano was in with his friends, enjoying the music and chilling out in the corner of the club.

‘Lauren approached him and asked for a picture of them to be taken. But he just blew her off and refused.

‘Cristiano turned to his friend and said in his heavy Portugese accent: ‘Who is this woman?’

‘Lauren was mortified. She told her friends she couldn’t believe he’d talk to her like that. Worse still, she couldn’t believe he didn’t know who she is.

‘She walked away in a really bad mood.’

Cristiano recently split from his model girlfriend Nereida Gallardo whose body, judging by these uncensored topless shots of her, scores a 15 in a scale of one to ten, while Lauren Conrad receives an unquestionable -10 because she’s had Brody Jenner’s penis inside her.

Brody Jenner is the kind of dude who thinks he’s so hardcore and invisible he’s apt to go across the border and pay a Mexican hooker to plow his peen only to discover a few days later that cottage cheese is oozing from his shriveling penis.

Source

I’ve added old bikini shots of Audrina Patridge after the cut for good measure