The One That Got Away

June 11th, 2008

By: Melysa

George Clooney never cared that his woman was a “cocktail waitress.” He really and truly thought Sarah Larson was “the one.” Apparently he also thought her maternal instincts would never kick in. He was wrong… and so he sent her packing.

Blind Item via Lainey’s Gossip:

It was an unexpected split. Many were led to believe erroneously, me included, that their end had more to do with his machinations than with hers. As it turns out however the reason behind the break up was the dreaded OverReach. What sent him scrambling were comments like this, dropped casually into conversation: “I forgot my pill.” “I’m a few days late.” And then calling his family, chatting them up, hinting at the prospect of a baby, raising their hopes that a grandchild would be in their future. It’s the betrayal that disappointed him most. Apparently he wasted no time putting an end to her plans, pretty much standing over her while she packed up, sending her away with not even a glance back. He’s been drowning his sorrows in cocktails ever since. Not alone, of course but it was definitely a disappointment. He’d intended to keep her around for a long time. Especially given the fact that he was still able to have his fun on the side. It’s not every day you find a girl who’s ok with extra curricular activities so long as she’s the only one who gets a set of keys. In the end though, her greed brought an end to the sweet ride. Shelf Ass Jessica Biel could stand to learn a thing or two from this example. Overreaching prompts a steep fall.

The man should have just slipped her a roofie and taken her to get an IUD. She would have been none the wiser and baby free. Mwuahahaha!

Or better yet, they should have just stuck to doing anal every day. Sure, her asshole would be so stretched out she’d probably shit when she tried to fart, but that’s the just the price he’d have to pay for true love!