Lohan Vs. Lohan… Pt. 1,456,739,281

Michael Lohan, tool and ex-husband to ‘Top Mom’ White Oprah, is up in arms over the Mingling Moms Organization having awarded Lindsay’s mother for her pimpin’ maternal skills.

Michael seethed, “Are you kidding! Top celebrity mom? Look at her off-screen antics, her lack of morals and how she conducts herself. I guess they forgot to mention how this top super-mom leaves her kids alone at night and even parties in their presence. Just wait until we go back to court.”

He continued saying, “She comes stumbling out of Butter at 3:15 a.m. with bloodshot eyes and a red runny nose, yelling ‘Oh, [bleep],’ when she saw the paparazzi.”

Dina addressed his comments by calling him “infantile.” She went on to say, “I’ve allowed him visitation once a week, so I don’t understand why he’s doing this. He’s jealous that I got the award. He even called the organizers and tried to talk them out of giving it to me.”

Blah blah blah. I don’t care and neither do you. Damn crackheads.

How many handjobs do you think Ali Lohan has given by now? I’m guessing 107. She probably doesn’t have to add salt to her steaks. She just rubs them with her hands and vou lá… salted meat! I love how semen has such a wide array of functions.

Here’s America’s future whore (it’s between her and Miley) and her ‘Top Mom’ at some event yesterday.

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