Hump Wednesdays: To Vibrate or Not to Vibrate?
April 16th, 2008
By: Melysa
They say diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but don’t ever recall my ever having a toe-curling orgasm because carbon crystallized into a sparkling rock. Vibrators, however, along with a wide array of adult toys, have helped females satisfy their sexual appetite for centuries.
Originally used in the late 1800s to cure female “hysteria,” the vibrator is now used by all kinds of individuals, ranging from women, to men, to trannies, to singles, couples, non-discriminate of the lower class or upper class. Still a lot of us have yet to ever experience the splendor that is a vibrator.
As a matter of fact, I’m one of those people. Perhaps it’s the fear that no one will ever satisfy me sexually if I succumb to the unnatural vibration that comes from the flick of a switch. Or perhaps it’s because I worry I will unintentionally emasculate my male partner if I suggest bringing a third party, i.e., a vibrator, into the otherwise happy and sexually healthy relationship.
This is where you guys and gals step in. In a modern-day society where sex is everywhere, but never intimately broken down and discussed, I’d like to hear your opinion on the matter. What was your experience after using a vibrator, either while single or in a relationship? Dish it out, folks. I want to hear all the nitty gritty!
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my boyfriend was the one who suggested a vibrator. we use it if we’re having quick sex or feeling kinky.
using it once in a while hasnt made me any less able to have an orgasm from him.
its fun and you should try it.
I love my vibrator i am a women who has never had a orgasm doing it the physical way before and after i started using one so i use mine during before with or without sex i wouldnt give it up
I have a female friend that was in the same position. She felt that using a Vibrator would change the dynamic of how she received pleasure. She felt she would become dependent on it and wouldn’t need a man. It was quite the contrary.. She enjoyed it and enjoys it when I’m not available. We’ve also used it a couple of times on her during and I wouldn’t say it enhanced the session but it wasn’t bad either…
If your in a relationship with a woman who needs a vibrator then your either (a) a selfish lazy bastard or (b) should be ashamed to call yourself a man! If you’re not making them cry with pleasure, your not doing your job!
Yours truely,
The Love Doctor
First, to “The Love Doctor”, you are an idiot.
Saying that a woman who uses a vibrator is in a bad relationship with a lazy man who doesn’t please her is like saying that any guy who jacks off is in a relationship with a girl who sucks in bed (or doesn’t…heh heh heh). Masturbation, both with a toy and without, is a part of any normal, healthy sex life, regardless of your partner’s prowess.
That having been said, I had your same concerns (to editor) about not being able to “top” the sensation or fun with a partner when I thought about regular solo fun, too. Good thing I figured (and read, and was told, and experienced) that it wasn’t the case. Sure having fun by yourself is different than with your special someone, but it doesn’t minimize partner fun in any way. In fact, learning about your body is the best way to have better partner fun, whether this is with or without toy chest play.
You make frequent mention of dildoes on your site, and I would ask you if that is for comedic purposes or if you really use them. If you do, do you ever worry that the size/shape of those toys will somehow reduce your enjoyment of the real thing? It probably doesn’t because it is so different. The same thing applies with vibrators.
I have a small toy chest and have had fun exploring with items in it, but my sex life with my partner has not suffered one bit. Toys are fun, and can add to partner fun as well as solo fun, but 99% of the time, they stay in the chest. My advice is to not be afraid that a new sensation is going to make your couple time any less awesome, because it won’t. Toys feel different, but usually aren’t “better”, just like how solo fun is different than couple time, but you probably don’t tell your dude to leave you alone to yourself.
Dear Julia,
First, I don’t care about you or your stinky donut hole. Keep you damn comments to yourself if you can’t respect the opinions of others (or if your too stupid to have a sense of humor), because truth be told, you probably hit that dildo or vibrator more often than you’re willing to admit; that’s why you took something that was partly sarcastic and made it so personal by calling me an idiot. And don’t miss paraphrase me. What I said was from a young male perspective, jokingly poking fun at the male ego. Perhaps I should’ve mentioned age/ sex drive also because I’m sure it’s different for a large majority of 20 something’s out there. In every serious relationship I’ve been in I’ve never had a lady that could match my sex drive or complain that she wasn’t satisfied. You can’t compare us. Perhaps there are a few older nymphos out there like yourself, but stating the following: “Saying that a woman who uses a vibrator is in a bad relationship with a lazy man who doesn’t please her is like saying that any guy who jacks off is in a relationship with a girl who sucks in bed,” sound nice but is total bs. Did I say anything about a “bad” relationship? No! I simply insinuated that he’s a two pump jump, or a lazy bastard who’s in it only for himself.
HAHAHA..comments crack me joke..well my man dusnt kno I play with myself..bt I think I wud get a vibrator..bt the thing is,im small dwn there nd booboo is only lyk 4 inches bt I feel lyk its big..so a vibrator wud give me a bucket wudnt it?I dnt kno..I dnt thnk I wud try it in bed with my man there..i jus want him nd me..nd he can make me cum naturally!LOOL!
Well, you are an idiot for responding that way.
You totally missed my point.
I know people (self included) who are in sexually satisfying relationships who still use vibes. They are not bad in bed. That’s all I meant.
Dear Love Doc, you are a complete idiot. Just because the one unlucky female that you happen coerce into sex happens to orgasm easily, doesn’t mean the rest of the world does. In fact, some studies show that as many as 70% of all females do not orgasm from penetration alone. Adult toys are very important to millions of people.