They Shot This Image to Test Your Manhood
April 5th, 2008
By: Melysa
In honor of Esquire’s 75th anniversary, the magazine chose Jessica Simpson to re-create Virna Lisi’s iconic March 1965 cover. Failed reality TV star and singer of all people. Ugh.
In the May ‘08 issue, the cover boldly reads, “We shot this image to catch your eye so you will pick up the issue and immerse yourself in the most gripping story you will read this year.”
I ask you, is this cover supposed to be sexy because my vagina just put up a “Closed for Business” sign. Perhaps it’s the angle at which the cover was shot, but that photo is not becoming of Jessica. The girl can’t catch a break. It’s just so easy to hate on her.
And as for this “gripping story,” unless it’s about how George Clooney likes midgets to give him handjobs because it makes his penis look three times as large, count me out.
More photos after the jump!
Image Source: SweetKisses, Esquire, Wireimage
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The saddest commentary here is that Esquire has been around for 75 years and for this Landmark edition, it will be noted for posterity that Jessica Simpson was their selection? Is she what is “cool” to this magazine? I mean, she is definitely not A-list personality. She has had a c-level career, its peaked long ago. Outside of dating Tony Romo there is nothing to be said about her of any interest at all.
Couldn’t they have gotten someone Younger? Hotter? More Interesting? Famous?
A third rate teennie bob-singer, washed up reality star doing straight to DVD hollywood garbage is the pic for their 75th annivesary?
They need to fire their editorial staff, they are more out of it than Rolling Stone.
Jamman,
You hit the nail perfectly on the head.
XOXO
Editor
F-Listed
Still, I’d love to play with her all day in bed. The point of her being so dingy is what turn me on about her the most…I think. That face, those breast are hurting any either, and those legs instantly turns me on with her even trying. Seriously, I don’t know why but I’m just strangely attracted to her, more so than most females in hollywood and she’s not even my type (I like brunette’s);p
she’s not even my type (I like brunette’s)
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Another pet peeve. Lindsay Lohan is a redhead. When she dies her hair blonde or black, everyone still thinks of her as a redhead.
In which case, Jessica Simpson is not a blonde. She is a brunette with her hair died blonde. Ditto Paris Hilton.
not a good shot because i always look at her face as manly as now after seeing this man shot. bady choice , they should have picked someone with more class, she’s a washed up texan who i don’t find attractive, she’s short and her facial features are cartoonish.
jessica simpson is SO dumb. that other woman looks totally hot and feminine and FUNNY because shes actually looking like shes shaving, but also fully made up. thats whats funnnny about it, that shes not trying to be sexy, she just is. JESSICA on the other hand, is rather pathetic in her attempt at sex appeal, and is a little too recently reminiscent of linday’s ‘marilyn’ cover.
she is annoying and a little too fat for hollywood. and she has no mind of her own, guaranteed
I don’t understand why they keep pushing these no talents in our face. Paris, Lindsey, Jessica, Ashley, Kim K, Heidi and Britney. Come on Hollywood their has to be some real talent left out there, get off your dead ass and find some.