Stacy Keibler is Why George Clooney Should Never Again Consider Committing Suicide

Remember when George Clooney contemplated committing suicide back in 2005? Yeah, that was stupid. Had he offed himself he not only wouldn’t have been able to bag Elisabetta Canalis, but he would have missed out on Stacy Keibler and her lovely cleavage.

This is what Clooney said about his tragic moment in 2005:

“I was at a point where I thought, ‘I can’t exist like this. I can’t actually live.’ I was lying in a hospital bed with an IV in my arm, unable to move, having these headaches where it feels like you’re having a stroke, and for a short three-week period, I started to think, ‘I may have to do something drastic about this.’ You start to think in terms of, you don’t want to leave a mess, so go in the garage, go in the car, start the engine. It seems like the nicest way to do it, but I never thought I’d get there. See, I was in a place where I was trying to figure out how to survive.”

Again, that would have been dumb. I think having 20% of what Clooney has is still probably better than having 100% of what the normal dude has. Am I right?

Here, again, is why Clooney should never, ever again consider committing suicide.