AMBER ALERT!

I don’t think this story is true, because our frap loving lady Britney Spears is surrounded by paparazzi 24/7, but hey if UsWeekly says it’s true than it must be! Right?

The singer parked her car outside [a Beverly Hills elementary school] just before 3 p.m. and spent 10 minutes smoking cigarettes and talking to herself while she waited for classes to let out.

“She was just rambling and confused,” says the witness, who approached Spears to ask if she was OK. “She said, ‘I’m here to pick up my kids.’ But then she changed her story and said, ‘They aren’t my kids; I have a new attorney, and I came to pick them up for her.’” Adds the witness, “All I could think was, Who in their right mind would let her pick up their kids?”

Wow, this lady is a damn genius! She should run for office. Hillary won’t even see it coming!

As children began to leave for the day, the star, 26, caused a commotion — “It became the talk of the school. Some of the kids were freaked out,” says a school source. She was directed to a more secure entrance around back.

But before getting into her car and driving off (without any children), she chatted up the female witness: “She said, ‘You’re so nice. You should give me your number. I don’t have very many friends.’”

Quick, someone hurry up and give BS a Baby Alive Doll!  It’s not like she’s going to realize it’s a fake. Then she can love him and squeeze him …and call him George.

More photos after the jump!