PBS Wants You To Know That Tupac and Biggie Smalls are Indeed Dead

Boy do we love the Internet! Even the littlest, most nonsensical stories can be a lot of fun to talk about.

This weekend PBS’ website was hacked and a story was released on their front page which declared that deceased rappers Tupac and Biggie Smalls were alive and well, living together in a house in New Zealand. Which, is naturally where most rappers go to retire. But, much like the way  your parents explained the disappearance of your childhood dog, the story of Tupac and Biggie moving “upstate” (i.e. to New Zealand) to a farm to retire together is completely made up.

It really is unfortunate that this story is not true. It was actually posted on the front page of their website via some hackers named  Lulz Security. Well done, fellas. The best fake news story of… the year?

Luckily, the team at Mediaite has the actual text from the now removed story. Again, we love the Internet!

The words, which are indeed immaculate, after the jump!

“Prominent rapper Tupac has been found alive and well in a small resort in New Zealand, locals report. The small town – unnamed due to security risks – allegedly housed Tupac and Biggie Smalls (another rapper) for several years. One local, David File, recently passed away, leaving evidence and reports of Tupac’s visit in a diary, which he requested be shipped to his family in the United States.

‘We were amazed to see what David left behind,’ said one of sisters, Jasmine, aged 31. ‘We thought it best to let the world know as we feel this doesn’t deserve to be kept secret.’

David, aged 28, was recently the victim of a hit-and-run by local known gangsters. Having suffered several bullet wounds on his way home from work, David was announced dead at the scene. Police found the diary in a bedside drawer.

“Naturally we didn’t read the diary,’ one officer states. ‘We merely noted the request to have it sent to a US address, which we did to honor the wishes of David.’

Officials have closed down routes into the town and will not speculate as to whether Tupac or Biggie have been transported to another region or country. Local townsfolk refuse to comment on exactly how long or why the rappers were being sheltered; one man simply says ‘we don’t talk about that here.’

The family of David File have since requested that more action be taken to arrest those responsible for the shooting. ‘David was a lovely, innocent boy’ reported his mother. ‘When he moved to New Zealand, he’d never been happier.’

His brother Jason requested that one part of David’s diary be made public in an attempt to decipher it. “Near the end,’ Jason says, ‘there’s a line that reads ‘yank up as a vital obituary’, which we’ve so far been unable to comperhend.”

David’s girlfriend, Penny, did not wish to make a statement.”